SUPERWHO: The Apple Of Us
by FossiliZed
Summary: Death has a story to tell: A lonely Castiel befriends the young Doctor and Master on Gallifrey. But the universe is against this friendship. Will they stick together or will fate win? More importantly, should they let it? [Pre-canon.]
1. Death Tells A Story

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death (Wow, what a weird sentence) or any of the characters and places mentioned here, except for Haley.

**A.N: **This is a prequel to my 'SUPERWHOLOCK: Eye of the Storm' fic, but can be easily read on its own. It takes place before either shows start, but eventually leads into them towards the end.

**Warnings: **Narrated by Death so that may be a little confusing. Mentioned miscarriage in this chapter. Angst. Fluff. Reference to outside Doctor Who and Supernatural canon. (For example, proses, comics, audio-dramas etc...) Un-beta'd.

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**Prologue  
**

Death Tells a Story

There are six planes of existence. Why? Well, I suppose six is a good number. There were meant to be eight, but as soon as God got to six, He decided to rest. Personally, I never understood why He did that – I told Him He could have gone further, but there was something about that sixth realm He liked, so He left it be. I couldn't fathom it out though, as I stood there now, on Earth. This place was nothing special. Nice to look at, maybe. But nothing special. But maybe that was because it was my regular stop, and I'd grown tired of it. The people here died so quickly and so regularly that I was always busy. I sometimes wondered why He hadn't made them live longer, like He had with the other species He'd created. I never wished for it, though. I only wondered. I never wished for anything.

My work that night took me to a small house in Kansas. The couple who lived there were newly weds and had just moved in five weeks before, barely settled. Around the house was nothing plain stringy grass, saturated with heavy rainfall from earlier that evening. In the distance, thunder rumbled quietly as another storm neared.

I could sense the flickering life within, crying out, scared and confused, as I drew closer to the house. It reeled me in like a hand on mine and my ring glowed, telling me that the time was approaching. I made my way, soundless, up onto the porch and paused at the door, listening. Silence. The humans within had gone to sleep early. The wife was tired, partly from unpacking, partly from the cramps that had started in her lower belly, and the husband soon joined her.

After I moment, I passed through the door and entered the house. There were unpacked boxes still stacked in the landing. A tiny path had been cleared through. At the end of the corridor, a book shelf had already been put up, with an old _The Beatles _album on the shelf, and to the right, through the doorway, I could see that the kitchen table was set up also, with some boxes of cereal stacked up clumsy on the table.

I slowly made my way up the stairs. On the wall, there were pictures hung up of the couple. They were doing typical human things: guilty snapshots of simple actions. The wife washing up, flicking soap at the camera; the husband fixing a car, his face covered in oil; the two of them sitting together, kissing. There were no parents - already collected them years ago - but as I rose higher and higher, passing more pictures, including one of the wife polishing a rifle and sticking her tongue out, I could see the slow progression of a swelling in the wife's lower belly.

Upstairs, I found the couple in the bedroom, curled round each other in their sleep, perfectly content. The father was snuggled in the mother's blond curls, his hand resting on her hip, his fingers just brushing the life sleeping within. Unfortunately, that was the life I was here to collect. Her name was to be Haley, if I recall correctly. I rested my hand on the belly of the mother. Twins. At least there were. Accidents happen.

I pulled the chosen soul from the stomach, an orb of blinding white light seeping through my fist, and the mother stirred uncomfortably in her sleep. I placed a hand on her forehead to soothe her. She had been through a lot of pain, and was to go through much more soon enough. But this was the Great Plan and I didn't like to alter it, so I took the soul away and left the house, entering the Veil.

As we left the plane of the living, the soul grew into a little girl of about five earth years. No doubt, this would be how she would have looked had she lived. She had golden-brown her that danced above her shoulders and her eyes were a greenish-brown. She looked dazed and confused, so I kept a firm grasp on her tiny ghostly hand as guided her away from the living. The good thing about collecting souls as young as this is that they didn't fight. They didn't beg for meaning, nor did they refuse the gift of peace. They just came along quietly. Sometimes, I wasn't sure if they could speak at all.

When we came to the Great Divide, the crack that separated each realm, I looked down at the soul. The younger ones usually found the climb difficult. As I looked down at her, and she looked up at me, I could tell this one was special. But given her heritage that was hardly surprising. She was the extra product of a successful experiment - one billions of years in the making. Although the experiment was intended, she was not. She needed to be got out of the way. Cruel? I suppose so.

Unaware of my thoughts, the soul smiled up at me and clasped my hand tightly, almost as if _I_ was the one who needed the courage to make the jump. I didn't smile back because I felt that she hadn't earned a smile from the likes of me.

On my finger, my ring lit up for a moment, signalling that it was safe to cross the Divide. That caught the soul's attention. I had no trouble getting her to keep up from that moment on. She seemed to think of me as some wondrous being, which I was, but I hardly ever got such praise from humans.

I led her across the Divide, concentrating on the climb, not wanting to tumble into the Void. Many of my Reapers had done that; losing concentration for a minute and losing themselves forever. But they did their duty, and did their best to save the soul. When I passed through here, and found a lost soul wandering about the Veil, the most common reason is that the Reaper fell. Sometimes though, it was because the soul had chosen to stay behind, or that it was bound, unable to go to Heaven or Hell. The latter was probably the cruellest fate of all.

As we made the climb, the soul buzzed with excitement beside me. From her point of view, there could have been anything there. Usually it was something to make the journey easier: A golden staircase. A present. A friend. But I saw the truth. I always saw the truth. And I saw black. Just black. There was nothing for a little girl here. Nothing for no one. This was just the space between – the glue, if you like, that held the six planes of existence together. That was its only purpose. Beyond this place was the passage leading to Heaven or Hell. It was quite the journey.

A few minutes passed when a quiet voice beside me said, "I'm bored."

I glanced down at the soul. She was looking back at me as though I could grant wishes. "Nothing I can do, I'm afraid." I told her.

The soul just blinked. "What's your name?" she asked me.

"I have many names." I replied. It was the truth, after all. The Angel of Death, Thanatos, the Grim Reaper – I wasn't too fond of that one – Hel the Goddess of Death, and many more. And those were just the ones of Earth culture. I never told any soul my name. To them, I was a reaper, a guide, or whatever they needed me to be, and nothing more. I didn't separate myself from my fellow reapers nor did I wish to. Yet I also felt, with the younger souls, that if I told them my name I would have to explain myself to them.

After a while of silence, the soul asked, "Can I call you Dada?"

"...No."

"Momma?"

"No!"

The soul pouted. "You're mean. You were nicer before."

I looked at her, puzzled. "Before?"

"Before." She repeated, waving a hand to gesture to her surroundings. "You used to make me laugh. There was me, and there was you. The other one. You and me. Remember?"

Ah, of course! She was talking about her twin. It must have been confusing for her. There was just her and her twin in a dark, strange place, and now I was here and he wasn't, and I was taking her away. "I'm not your brother." I told her and, knowing I'd regret it later, I added, "My name is Death."

I hate breaking rules.

"My name is Haley." She said with a proud smile. Cheeky beggar. "Where is the other?"

"He stayed behind."

"Why?"

"Because he had to."

"Can we go back?"

There was a tug on my hand, but I kept my grip firm.

"No." I said, "We can't."

The soul didn't argue and I was grateful for it. We continued like that for a while. The silence fell like snow, carrying our footsteps and brushing against our shoulders, reminding me of the desolate place this truly was. I liked it. It was undeniably real and it shared the setting of my birth. I supposed it was home to me.

I heard an impatient huff from beside me, followed by; "Will you tell me a story?"

The soul – Haley, as it now seemed appropriate to address her by – looked up at me with pleading eyes. I blinked down at her. This one was certainly different. But, I reminded myself, I was what she needed, so long as that didn't cross the border into attachment. "What kind of story would you like? I only know sad ones."

She frowned pensively, "What's 'sad'?"

I complemented how I would go about describing sadness to a being who has not, and would not, experience such a thing without the use of synonyms causing increased bafflement. But I didn't have to face this challenge because, like the flight of a sparrow, her attention flew to something that ahead of us. We had passed the Void now, across the Divide.

Haley gasped loudly, her eyes wide, and she pointed with her tiny finger at the endless blackness before us. "Look!" she cried, jumping up and down, "Look!"

I did. I saw nothing. Whatever Haley was seeing was whatever her imagination had blinded her with. This was the place where the rogue souls resided - a place on the border of heaven. Some of heaven's power leaked through here, giving the souls the chance to dream up a home for themselves. But it was not heaven, not controlled; just a place where dreams and nightmares ran wild. I imagined it could be frightening for those trapped here, but luckily few were. They called it Limbo.

"Do you like it?" I asked Haley.

"It's…" her face screwed up tight as she tried to think of a word. Never before had I wondered how difficult it must have been to think of words you were never taught. "Pretty." She settled on at last.

"Pretty." I repeated, looking up again.

"It _so_ pretty!" Haley stopped and looked at me eagerly, "Tell me about pretty places!" she declared.

I shrugged, "I suppose I know a story or two with pretty places in them. That doesn't mean they're mine to tell."

Haley whined and pouted and squeezed my hand in a way that couldn't decide between asking and pleading. It caught me off guard for a minute. It had been an awfully long time since a child – or anyone, in fact – had held my hand like that. The last time, I remembered suddenly, was on a secluded ripple of land that rose and dipped beneath two sizzling suns, like the Devil's snake. I remember thinking when I got there how I had heard many say that this place was stained with the blood of billions of galaxies, that it had seeped into the soil and turned the grass red, but at that point, when I stepped foot in that place, they were wrong. The only blood that was here was the blood of a single child – it may as well have been the whole universe. That same blood was being smeared onto my hand as a boy clung to me in the same pleading manner that Haley was doing now. Only Haley's request was innocent, unlike that of the boy.

I remembered his white hanging face, his large dark eyes, and his slurred words as he spoke at me. Behind him, two other boys lay in the grass. On the ground, not too far away, there was also a blade, silver and glinting against the red backdrop, and on its hilt there was a tiny engraving that read:

_Castiel._

Memory is like carrying your belongings in a bag with holes. You'll drop many things on your way but one day you'll retrace your steps and retrieve something you didn't know you had. There was a story behind this memory in particular and now that I had found it, it suddenly shouted at me, reassuring me that it was a story that deserved to be told. Whether this was because Haley had asked for a story, or whether it was one of the very few lives I had influenced in more ways than just the taking of another life, I couldn't be sure but I had the sudden urge to tell it either way. I hoped that it would in some way serve useful to Haley. Maybe it would help create her heaven, by adding to those lack of memories - and whatever she was seeing right now - since she had no life of her own to "relive her greatest hits" as they say.

"Very well." I murmured quietly, more to the memory of the boy rather than to Haley, "I will tell you a story – but only for a little while, you understand? You should be in heaven soon."

I placed my cane down beside me and sat down. It was like sitting on a thin sheet of glass with the endless drop below you – but I had wings that stretched for miles, rivalling all my reapers. I motioned Haley to sit close beside me, so I could catch her in case the environment became unstable and we fell. Haley giggled with excitement and I rolled my eyes, telling her to be quiet so I could think. Haley clamped her mouth shut but couldn't stop the tiny squeak that escaped her.

"I can't you much about heaven – you'll find out what it's like soon enough." At this, Haley gave another quiet squeak, bobbing her head, and I briefly wondered why she had an inability to keep still. I plunged on, "Besides, it won't matter because this story is set in the time when heaven a was small and, quite frankly, uninteresting place."

"It is pretty?"

"Extremely." I replied, "Heaven holds all the beauty you allow it to have. Back then, it was ran by the Creator – or Allah, or Brahma, or whatever you wish to call Him – and His loyal followers. The Creator was a very…" _frustrating, _I almost said but didn't, "…eccentric fellow. Despite being larger than life, He is very good at hiding. There were few who knew what He looked like."

"Do you?" Haley said quietly, looking at me with unblinking eyes.

"Yes." I answered, "Anyway, the heaven He ruled over was a lot smaller back then. It only had a few billion souls, and none of those souls were human. Humans didn't exist back then. Neither did the Earth. You see, for a long time there was just Him and me – I'm not sure which of us came first; I don't remember it all too well – and after a while that got rather boring. So He, the appropriately named Creator, began to do just that. That's when He came up with the Great Plan. And…when He gets an idea in His head, He cannot be deterred from it."

As I spoke, I noticed the five-year-old girl was no longer five years old. She had aged a year, as though my words matured her. Her hair was slightly longer, reaching down to her collarbone, freckles had appeared on her nose, and her eyes were more set into her face. I also couldn't help but notice the tiny red stain on her white dress, to the right, just below her ribcage. Haley didn't seem to notice it.

"What was the plan?" she asked.

"I told you. I don't remember." I said, "I don't think He does either. But soon He was creating millions of creatures. You see His plan, whatever it was, involved creating the perfect race. But anyway, I digress. This story is about none of that."

"Oh?" Haley said, startled.

"No. This story is about one of God's host, a young and foolish angel, and his friendship with two Time Lords, who were equally as young and foolish. This angel was given the name Castiel."

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**A.N: **Okay, the first chapter of the Eye of the Storm prequel. Like I said, you don't need to read that to read this and if you choose not to read one, you're not missing out on any major plot details. That being said, there are going to be some recurring characters, like my OC Haley.

**References****: **

Thanatos – Hellenic (Ancient Greece)

Hel the Goddess of Death – Scandinavia (Norse mythology)

Brahma - The Creator. (Hindu)

_"As old as God. Perhaps older. Neither of us can remember any more." _Death to Dean (Supernatural season 5 Episode 21 'Two Minutes to Midnight')


	2. A Leap Of Blind Faith

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the places and characters mentioned from Doctor Who or Supernatural.

**A.N: **Okay, so keeping up with the angels is really difficult. First off there's how Supernatural presents them, and since this is a Supernatural fanfiction I want to stick as close to that as I can. Then there's me blindly using random angel names from one site and then looking on another and finding out that angel is completely different to what I thought it was. Anyway, I'm going to try to stick with what the Supernatural canon has stuck to, only adding a few references from other sources. (listed at the bottom)

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**Two**

A Leap of Blind Faith

Castiel's favourite place in Heaven was on a great and tall mountain, called the Pinnacle, which overlooked a vast landscape of stars. It was on this mountain that he first perceived the wonder that was the universe. And Castiel _worshipped _it. This was not uncommon. Angels never stopped praising the Creator and his creations, but what Castiel did went beyond mere praise – it was emotion, commitment, wonder. The likes of which had never been seen before. It was almost unnatural, as if God had made a mistake. But God never makes mistakes, right?

Right?

Despite his differences, Castiel managed to get on well with his brothers and sisters. Often any cause of disagreement was over trivial matters, as it usually is between siblings, and was soon broken up by the older angels, resolved in a matter of minutes and forgotten all the more quickly. Pain and disagreements were avoided because there was a connection between the host that was unbreakable; causing pain to another inflicts pain on oneself. They were connected through their Father's love and their love for each other. You could say that, on the surface, they were the perfect family – a template for the rest of the universe to follow.

Castiel wasn't good at making friends. He darted between angels but never felt welcome with any of them - but that changed during one of his classes.

The students were told to pair up with another Fledging – a young angel, still in training, with their role in Heaven yet to be determined. After everyone had been partnered up, the last Fledgings remaining were Castiel and the mysterious Uriel. To Castiel, he was a mountain; calm, strong, never bowing to anything. A little intimidating. Castiel approached him carefully, unsure whether to smile but he still did, and introduced himself to the calm, silent one. Uriel returned the introduction stonily.

"Remember this is about the fluidity of your movements." The instructor informed them. Castiel stood tall, desperate to impress. "Find your opponent's weakness and use it to your advantage. Harness the power of your Grace. Let the energy flow – but remember to keep control of your actions."

Castiel twitched nervously, repeating the words in his head as he duelled with Uriel. His movements were desperate and clumsy, while Uriel's were blunt and stiff. When Castiel went to deliver a blow to Uriel's side, the larger Fledging dodged and Castiel detected amusement in the other angel. It distracted him and he didn't notice the swing aimed for his legs. Pain rattled through him. He lost balance and slumped to the ground. Before he could recover, the instructor stopped them for another lecture. Castiel writhed in embarrassment, picking himself up.

Afterwards, he was shocked when Uriel approached him.

"That was a good fight." was all he said, but it made something inside Castiel spark, burning away all the humiliation he felt. Castiel had gained the respect of a mountain. That made him very proud indeed. The older angels didn't understand of course. To them, Uriel was just a shiny-looking stone in a river. Castiel wasn't noticed enough to even be a stone.

Castiel's other friend was Balthazar. Well, I suppose they were friends. You could never tell with Balthazar.

They met purely by accident, on the very same mountain were Castiel first saw the stars. Castiel went there often to think, wonder, or to sometimes rest, whenever Uriel wasn't around. Castiel and Uriel had grown close after their dual in class and they spent a lot of time together. Castiel even showed Uriel the stars, but Uriel didn't see them the way Castiel did. Uriel loved them - yet it was somehow different to how Castiel loved them. It was at this point that Castiel became painfully aware of how others saw him, which was why, when Uriel was resting, he went to the Pinnacle to meditate. He wanted to fix whatever flaw he - wait. No. He couldn't call it a flaw. He was an angel; his Father's child. He wasn't flawed.

But then what was it? Why did his brothers and sisters see him differently? Castiel was so twisted up with these thoughts that he didn't notice he wasn't alone until someone slumped up against him. He barely had time to think who it was or what he wanted, when the stranger leaned over and whispered hotly into his ear.

"When I say duck, you duck. Got it?"

Castiel went rigid, "What are you –"

"Now!"

Something splashed in his face and turned hard. He choked, scrambling to get it off him. It made his Grace burn like holy fire. He heard the other angel making a sound of alarm and then whatever was on his face was ripped off. "I said duck!" the other angel accused while Castiel rubbed his burning eyes.

"No, you said 'now.'" Castiel said. He blinked when the angel just stared at him, a look of surprise, like he'd found something he only just remembered he knew he was looking for. "...What?"

The angel smirked, "What was your name?"

"Castiel. And you?"

"Balthazar."

Balthazar was like a ribbon. He was thin and agile, unlike any other angel Castiel had never seen, and could weave through or past any obstacle with a series of cunning choices and direction. He would make a fine warrior. Or a thief. Even his voice, smooth and lustrous, could charm anyone.

Castiel looked at the small flask in Balthazar's hand, as the angel returned the substance back into it. It was strange: when held, it became sticky and gnawed at the grace, but as soon as it touched the lips of the flask, it transformed into liquid and slipped inside. "What is that?" Castiel asked, both fascinated and frightened by it.

"Oh this?" Balthazar said like he'd forgotten he'd had it. He was a very dismissive fellow. Not a care in the universe. "I don't know. I found it."

"Why did you throw it at me?"

"Because you looked busy." Balthazar tipped his head back and laughed at Castiel's scowl.

"You there!"

Castiel and Balthazar leapt. Two very powerful Seraphim were approaching them. Castiel recognised the leader as Raguel and his follower, Ezekiel. Raguel often took the form of a griffin with duck feathers on his wings and neck. Like all Seraphim, he had six wings and wasn't afraid to show them off. On the other hand, Ezekiel had three heads; a man, a dog, and a bull. His grace was gold and bronze and he carried an air of kindness and smelt oddly like petrichor. Angels took on these powerful forms depending on their status. Fledglings could only manifest basic humanoid forms, often wingless because of how difficult it was to sustain them. Most Fledgings could only support two wings at once.

Balthazar hissed, hiding the vile behind him. Castiel swallowed.

Raguel and his garrison were the ones who kept order in Heaven. Like most Seraphim, they took no notice of the Fledgings. Unless they had broken the rules, of course.

Raguel looked at Balthazar. He held out his hand. "Stealing is not permitted."

Balthazar scowled and stubbornly pulled the flask from behind his back.

"He didn't steal it." Castiel said, feeling compelled to protect Balthazar despite the fact he hurt him. That was always Castiel's biggest problem. "He found it."

Both Balthazar and Raguel looked at Castiel with disbelief, before Balthazar cooled his features. Raguel looked suspiciously at Castiel, and glanced at Balthazar. "Is that true?"

Balthazar nodded curtly, and blurted, "Yes sir!" a little too quickly.

This made Ezekiel chuckle, "I'm sure." he said, voice gentle and deep. He turned to Raguel. "Leave them be, Raguel. They are young. They do not yet understand."

Raguel took the flask off Balthazar and carefully gave it to Ezekiel.

Curious, Castiel asked, "What is that, anyway?"

"Never mind you." Ezekiel said. "And if you 'find' anything else that shouldn't belong, return it to our garrison."

"Yes sir." Castiel and Balthazar said at the same time and the two Seraphim turned away and left. When they disappeared off the mountain, Balthazar turned to Castiel a large grin, "Thanks, Cas." He said, "I owe you, big-time."

Since then, Balthazar stole moments from Castiel's life. In all those moments, Castiel knew Balthazar was waiting for the opportune moment to return the favour. And so, Castiel never brought it up, thinking that he'd lose his friend if he did. Generations passed, and that feeling was forgotten. Then came the day when Castiel went to his brother and begged him for his help. The day Castiel committed the biggest crime of all time.

But long before that, there was the rite of passage.

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Rays of light darted through Heaven's sky, like droplets of paint flowing down to meet each other and become one, in dazzling shades of vermilion, indigo, gold and many more that in their variety cannot, and have not, been named. The skies of Heaven were rarely empty. The host dashed and played and pranced and wrestled in the skies until they grew tired. But today was different; all the angels, all the lights, were going the same way. As they glided over the soaring spires of the city, were more angels lifted up into the sky to join the group. The angels were gathering to watch an event that only occurred every millennia.

All the Fledglings gathered at the Great Divide, on the very edge of Heaven, looking down into the emptiness below. Castiel stood with his classmates, his friends Uriel and Balthazar beside him. Above them was the huge stretch of light of millions of angels. Castiel watched his brothers and sisters streak over his head and join the others. The space above him was filled with chatter.

Castiel was twitching with nerves.

Uriel smiled reassuringly at Castiel, "You will perform well, Castiel. I have trained with you enough times to know that. Besides, hardly any angels fail the rite of passage."

"What happens to the angels who fail?"

"You about to find out." Balthazar pointed out a large six-winged angel with four heads and quickly averted his gaze before the Seraphim saw him. "Good ol' Zach about to start us off."

The rite of passage came at the end of a Fledging's classes, where they were assessed by the hierarchy and their role amongst their brothers and sisters finally decided. Tension was build up for decades. Especially for Castiel. This day was what he'd been waiting for longer than he could remember; for as long as his brothers had looked upon him, and saw something they disliked. It was concealed in a look; Castiel was different. He would never make a warrior.

Today he was going to prove them wrong.

Zachariah marched along, looking down at the Fledgings. His six wings were raised high behind him like the feathers of a peacock, and his four heads, one of which was a lion, growled hungrily. Everyone knew he took on this form to frighten people. And it worked. Zachariah paused momentarily at Castiel, and the Fledging twitched. That look again! Castiel couldn't stand it anymore!

It took a sharp nudge from Balthazar into his side before Castiel realised that Zachariah was glaring at him, his lion's head looking about ready to eat him. Castiel quickly looked away. Zachariah moved on. When the Seraphim had traced the line of angels, he stopped and turned. No one dared move out of place.

Then came the Archangels.

They came like comets, blazing and beautiful with flakes of light peeling off them in long tails. The first four children of God: Michael, Lucifer, Gabriel and Raphael. They came in a line, head-to-head, like jets, then moved apart. Suddenly they were comets no more – they sprouted their wings, their heads, brandishing their true forms in all their glory, and when they began to sing, their harmonious sounds seemed to make the entire universe stop and listen.

Michael lifted his sword; a long gleaming blade, and pointed it up. The archangels circled around him for a moment and then aligned themselves behind him. Michael, in throws of cerulean, guided his brothers behind him. Following his two older brothers, Gabriel stretched his many wings, which were the purest white, his feathers lined with a colour that changed from silver to red depending on the angle. Raphael was behind him in emerald, like fresh earth grass, and even though he was the youngest of the four, he flew with elegance. Finally, the most beautiful; Lucifer, soaring between Michael and Gabriel, was golden with flares of blue and green, large wings and large sword-like feathers.

Not a moment into the song, Gabriel purposefully flew out of formation, speeding up so he was head-to-head with Lucifer. He batted Lucifer with a playful wing, but Lucifer gracefully dodged. Michael looked back sternly at them, until Lucifer overtook him, swirling through the air – gold flecks peeling off him and falling like snowflakes – then Michael, rising to the taunt, smirked and soared after him. Raphael rolled his eyes fondly and rushed to catch up to his older brothers. They danced like that for a while, tickling each other, and yet still coordinated and beautiful, their colours and shapes making a show, until they settled above all the other angels, their wings spread outwards, their voices loud and beautiful until they slowly settled into silence.

The first Fledging was called forwards by Zachariah.

She was called Anael. Castiel knew her from his class, and couldn't help the tiny stab of jealousy inside him. Anael was favoured by everyone. Strong. Agile. Beautiful. The very best. She encouraged and inspired everyone. The perfect leader, she was. It was only natural that she was chosen first. Something about her stood out. Something that made Castiel squirm.

Anael strode towards the edge. She turned her back to it. Reached up her arms. Dived backwards. It wasn't surprising that her performance glowed. Her graceful movements were beautiful against the blackness of the Divide. She could curl and flex her wings accurately, and when her time was up, she bowed and soared up to the stadium to join her brothers and sisters.

Another Fledging was chosen at random. Daniel. Castiel didn't know him personally, but he was in Balthazar's class. They had a rivalry of sorts. Constantly arguing and duelling with one another. Balthazar once said that he didn't respect anyone easily, but Castiel imagined that his relationship with Daniel was close enough.

After Daniel was finished, another Fledging went. And another. And another. Hurling themselves off the edge. This was the ultimate test of skill, courage, and strength. Each one of them were doing their best to pass it. When Uriel was called, he went bravely, without question. His movements were sudden shifts, hard and swooping fighting techniques. Uriel wasn't flexible at all, but he made up for it with his strength and when his turn was over, he was welcomed amongst the other angels with open arms.

The next Fledging chosen was also from Castiel's class. He was a show-off, but highly skilled, and when he leapt off the edge, Castiel watched carefully, hoping to gain inspiration. The angel spend out his Grace, forming wings, and lifted upward. The angel swooped up. Then he twisted in the air. His wings curled. He lost his balance. He fell. A gasp echoed throughout the angels - the light mass rippling. Castiel wanted to rush forwards to see what had happened but Balthazar pulled him back in line, giving him a warning look. Then the crowd of angels fell silent and the Fledging stirred uncomfortably.

"What happened?" whispered Castiel, carefully pulling away from Balthazar's grip. His friend was reluctant to let him go. "Where did he go? Is he all right?"

"He fell." Balthazar said. "Past the Divide. Into the Void."

Castiel furrowed his brow, "I don't understand."

Balthazar looked at him. "He's dead."

"Next!" Zachariah called, pointing directly at Castiel. Castiel was paralysed. He felt Balthazar's hand grip his shoulder tightly. He waited for his brother to fly back up, thinking it was a fluke, but he did not.

"Next!" Zachariah called again, glaring at him.

The hand on his shoulder gave him a gentle squeeze before letting go. Castiel shuffled to the edge. Looking down into that vast pit and imagining his poor brother trapped there for all eternity made his head swim and he closed his eyes. He glanced back at Balthazar, who winked and smiled at him. Castiel straightened his back, turned and looked straight ahead. He pushed his brother's death out of his mind, pushed away all the millions of eyes he could feel watching him, pushed back his insecurities. This was it. He couldn't turn back now no matter how scared he was. This was his only chance to prove himself.

He jumped.

For a daunting moment, he was being pulled into the void, too frightened to do anything to stop it. He closed his eyes and felt with a rush a thousand memories and thoughts explode in his mind. He saw how each and every angel gave him that same look. Not one of them didn't. He remembered the shushed words; he was 'peculiar' and 'would likely never amount to anything.' With these thoughts filling his mind, Castiel shook himself into action. He stretched out his Grace as far as he could, transforming them into two dazzling wings. The feathers, like blades, expanded and threw him into flight. Castiel laughed with relief. But it wasn't over. He had to show off what he had learned from his training.

Castiel spun round in the air, briefly melting his wings back into his body and transforming into a ray of light. After a moment of free-falling, he formed his wings again and burst back up into heaven. He flew up to the stadium, where the over angels watched him in silence. Castiel prayed that was good news. He flexed his wings, and plummeted back downwards again.

Something went wrong.

His wing bent up his back. Both wings melted back into him. Castiel tumbled down into the abyss. He tried to right himself again, but he'd completely left heaven and was heading straight for the void. But Castiel refused to give up! He stretched out his wings, beating them as hard as he could to lift up again. Feathers surrounded him, blinding him, and, terrified, he flailed in the air.

No. He told himself. He had to be clam. Soldiers always had to be calm. He may not be a soldier yet, but he would be one day. With that in mind, Castiel tried to regain control of his body. He closed his eyes and imagined himself back in Heaven, with Uriel by his side, and sometimes Balthazar when their classes joined, and what the instructors said.

_"This is about the fluidity of your movements."_

_"Grace is a powerful energy that makes up every angel."_

_"You can use your Grace to manifest and control your form."_

_"Learn control."_

Castiel swallowed the rising panic in his throat. He focused on each beat of his wings, each feather rising to flick and then curling up again. He felt himself moving, but didn't dare open his eyes until he was sure he was calm. He knew seeing that horrifying blackness would cause him to panic. And what if he fell? What if he ended up in that howling wilderness, the Void? Would he die? He didn't want to die. Not like this. He couldn't -

Oh. He was panicking again.

Up. Flick. Down. Curl. Up. Flick. Down. Curl. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Stay level. Stay alert.

Finally, Castiel pried open his eyes. He swallowed. Where was he? It wasn't Heaven, that's for certain. It was too dark - but not dark enough for him to be simply hanging in the Divide. He prayed it wasn't the Void!

Breathlessly, Castiel kept on beating his wings, trying to stay still while he looked round. He didn't recognise this place. He'd never left Heaven before. When Castiel glanced around he saw stars, like the kind he watched from the mountain, twinkling little clusters, and they surrounded him. Yet, they still looked far away. What did that mean? Was he close to Heaven? Or where the stars everywhere?

Everything looked the same. Castiel shook himself, feeling dizzy. He picked a random direction and soared towards it.

Up. Flick. Down. Curl. Up. Flick. Down. Curl. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Keep flying. Don't stop.

It wasn't long before Castiel's wings went numb with exhaustion. He'd gone a long way. No idea where. He'd been concentrating the whole time so when he finally looked up and round he was surprised to see the orb in the distance. It was beautiful. A golden orange pearl suspended in the blackness. From the distance Castiel was at, it was the same size as himself. It looked like he could land on it, but he couldn't be sure.

But Castiel's wings were burning and his eyes drooping. He had to risk it. No other choice.

Trying not to think about what would happen if he didn't get to safety soon, he pushed on.

...Then he was falling again. Air smacked him in the face. Heat and light stabbed him. He tumbled and was met with a quick fierce impact with the ground.

* * *

When Castiel's head stopped spinning, the first things he noticed was the red grass tickling his nose. He curled away from it, his Grace trembling from the impact, and struggled to stand. His form had averted back into the humanoid shape sometime before he landed, but he still had his wings. Typical. He climbed to his feet, tucking his wings against his back, where they promptly melted into him.

The place he was in was the most beautiful place he'd ever seen. To him, it was more beautiful than the stars, than heaven. Two burning suns. An orange sky. Mountains capped with snow. And where he stood, a mirror-still lake beside a cluster of silver trees. Below the slope, in the far distance, he could see a town of some kind. Castiel looked back at where he crashed. The grass had grown tall and small flowers were blooming. He looked up at the sky to re-think his flight pattern. It was certainly embarrassing, but Castiel was relieved he hadn't fallen into the void.

He was preparing to take off again, when suddenly;

"Wait for me!"

Without thinking, Castiel flung himself into the forest, diving behind a tree and peeking out. He saw two boys coming from the direction of the town, up to the lake, one of them lopping behind the other. They wore black robes with a grey band across the chest and a black cloak that trailed through the wet grass behind them. When the taller boy saw his friend falling behind, he picked up his cloak, pulled it over one shoulder and then picked up his friend and carried him on his back to the lake.

The smaller boy tried to protest, "I'm fine. Really, it's nothing."

The taller didn't appear to be listening, however, "I'll kill him for this." He was saying, brushing his dark fringe from his face with a bruised hand. "He had no right to do those things to you. Those stupid grown-ups. They never do anything." He lowered the smaller boy by the lake, in the place where Castiel had landed, and began to wash the smaller boy's wounds. The skin along his leg was torn up and bleeding, and the taller boy had bruises over his arms and face. Castiel felt the sudden urge to go and help them, and had to restrain himself.

"I won't let him hurt you again, you hear me?" the taller boy said, scrubbing furiously. "Never again."

"Ow! Ow, Koschei! That's hurts!"

Koschei stopped. "Sorry. Are you okay?"

There was a pause. Koschei went back to cleaning his friend's leg, more slowly and gently this time.

"I miss home." The boy said eventually, "I wish things didn't have to change."

Koschei was silent.

"They'll know we ran away." The boy continued, "They'll see our cloaks."

Koschei's mouth moved and Castiel crept forwards to hear what was being said. A twig snapped under his weight. The boys turned sharply to him. Castiel scrambled back, making even more noise. The boys were on their feet.

"Is that you, Torvic?" Koschei snarled. He bent down and picked up a stone off the ground, "You coward! If you want to fight me come on out and–" he lifted the stone to throw it, but the other boy grabbed his arm.

"Kos! Don't!" he said, "There's no point."

"Of course there's a point." Castiel heard the one called 'Koschei' whisper, "If I beat him in a fight, he'll leave us alone, Theta."

Theta winced.

Castiel felt it was appropriate to speak to ward off an attack. "I'm not who you think I am." He tried to say, in Enochian, and his words fell on deaf ears.

"What was that sound?" Theta whispered. "It was a like whistling!"

Koschei's fist tightened around the rock.

They couldn't understand him, Castiel realised. He tried again. This time, he used his telepathy to inch into the boys minds. It gave him a horrific headache, but the boys understood. They weren't fazed by the fact that Castiel had entered their minds and that could only mean they had telepathic abilities of their own. But they weren't angels. At least, Castiel didn't think so.

"Where are you?" Kos asked, speaking aloud rather than in his head.

Castiel shifted nervously behind the trees. _"Hiding."_

"Why?" Theta asked. He took the rock from his friend and put it down on the ground. "See? We won't hurt you."

What fascinating creatures they were! Castiel was awed by them. It was the first of his Father's creations, outside of angels and stars, he had ever seen. And they spoke too! Curiosity was swelling in his chest, and Castiel inched a little way forwards.

Koschei gently eased his friend behind him. "Look! A light! Is that you?"

"_It's my Grace." _He replied, stopping again. He'd heard that some of the creations were sensitive to the Grace, but if these boys were like himself, then maybe they were unaffected? Or maybe they were special?

"Grace?" Theta said, peeking out from behind his friend, "You're not from this world are you? What's your species?"

"_I'm an angel of the lord."_

"Never heard of it." Koschei said, and then added, with a proud smile, "We're Time Lords."

Castiel hummed with amusement. _"I've never heard of you either."_

"Well, technically we're not Time Lords." Theta said and Koschei nudged him, "It's true! Not until the Initiation, tomorrow."

Castiel had no idea what this 'Initiation' was, but he imagined that it was much like the rite of passage - Oh! Castiel flinched. He'd failed the rite of passage! His brothers probably thought he was gone for good. Balthazar. Uriel. Did they think him a failure? He had to get back and prove to them that he wasn't. He had to prove he was a good and powerful angel.

"Hello?" Koschei called. "Where'd you go?"

"_I..."_ Castiel shrunk back into the forest, _"I-I have to leave."_

Theta's eyes widened. "But...who are you? Are you coming back?"

"_I'm…"_ Castiel hesitated, inching away. _"…Castiel."_

Then he was gone, stretching his wings and beating them as hard and fast as he could to lift into the air. All the boys saw was a ray of light shooting upwards, like a star returning to sky, and as Castiel lifted higher and higher, entering space, he couldn't help but look back at the curious red planet and wonder.

* * *

**References:**

Raguel – From the Judaic traditions, known as the angel of justice, fairness, harmony, and vengeance. In the Book of Enoch, Raguel is one of the seven archangels whose function is to take vengeance on the world of the luminaries who have transgressed God's laws. In this story, he's not an archangel.

Anael – the angel form of Anna Milton in this story, but this name also has multiple origins depending on where you look.

Torvic – childhood bully to the Doctor and Master. (Audio: _"Master"_)

Initiation – a process young Time Lords, or Time Tots, go through before joining the Academy (Doctor Who, new-series 3, _"The Sound Of Drums."_)

The Void - _"...a howling wilderness." _(Doctor Who, new-series 2+)

Castiel favourite place, the Mountain/Pinnacle – _"And he carried me away in the Spirit to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Holy City…" _(Revelation 21: 10-27)

"_In Heaven, I have six wings and four faces, one of which is a lion." ... "I would walk these halls and people would avert their eyes - I had respect!" _– Zachariah to Dean and Sam (Season 5, episode 16 'Dark Side Of The Moon.')

_"What a peculiar thing you are." - _Lucifer to Castiel (Season 5, episode 10, 'Abandon All Hope.')

**There's no description for the other angels, so I had to make them up. The animals I chose were inspired by their Celtic meanings:**

Ezekiel: Dog – loyal, companionship, highly regarded. Bull – strong will, uncompromising, stubborn

Raguel: Griffin – balance of good and bad, justice and nobility, vengeance and violence. Duck – honesty, resourcefulness.


	3. A Life Of Duty

**Disclaimer: **Not my characters.

* * *

**Three**

A Life Of Duty

One thing I can say for certain about Castiel is this: He always attracted the rebels and low-lives, and welcomed them into his arms, almost as a testament of his fate. Theta and Koschei, the two renegade Time Lords, were no different to this. Of course, none of them knew what would inevitability become of them, but from the moment Castiel touched the Gallifreyan meadow, his fate with Theta and Koschei was intertwined.

The boys - eight years of age - had no idea what manner of creature they had just met. As Castiel soared into the sky, appearing as a streak of light to those below, Theta and Koschei stared after him. They stared long after there was nothing in sight. Eventually, they managed to tear their gazes away from the sky, to each other.

Theta opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then opened it again.

"W-what was _that?" _Koschei burst out.

Theta was breathless. He let out a laugh and swallowed a couple of times before speaking. "It looked like a shooting star – like a shooting star going up or something."

"Stars can't go back into the sky, Theta. Don't be stupid."

"I know that! I was just saying," Theta said, "And anyway, I've never heard of an 'angel-of-the-lord.' What do you suppose it was?"

In Gallifreyan, there was no word for 'angel' or any term that could describe the followers of God because in Gallifreyan there was no God. As beings who observed the flow of time and could travel in time, they considered themselves the oldest and mightiest beings in the universe. Really, the closest word to angel would in fact be 'Time Lord.'

Koschei hummed thoughtfully. "I reckon it was a...a...umm...Oh!" he gasped suddenly, making Theta jump, "A Toclafane! You know like in those stories your mama used to tell us; a Gallifreyan that has 'ascended into consciousness' - whatever that means. It makes sense because it's telepathic, like us. It spoke in our heads."

"Even if that was true, what was he doing here?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Koschei said, grinning. An idea had formed in his head; a game they sometimes played when no one else was around.

Theta's face twisted into a confused frown. "...It's not obvious to me."

"Oh, but you must know!"

"Tell me!"

"You mean you _really_ don't know?"

"Koschei!"

His friend's smile vanished then. He looked round and then leaned in close. "Can't say here." he whispered in a conspiring voice. "They might hear us. Quick!" he grabbed Theta's arm and pulled him towards the silver forest. "He might have left us a message to tell us the right time and place."

"What are you talking about?"

"You haven't worked it out yet?" Koschei said over his shoulder, still pulling his friend's arm until they were surrounded by trees. Koschei glanced round again. The trees stood around them in silver lines. Where the sun filtered through the leaves, it looked like the forest was on fire. "Looks safe...for now."

"So tell me!" Theta demanded, getting impatient.

Taking one last look around, Koschei leaned in close and whispered at last. "He's come to rescue us!" He leaned away to watch the flicker of emotions of Theta's face.

It was a moment of confusion, before Theta's face slowly rose into a smirk, realising that Koschei was reeling him into a new fantasy. This was not to say that the boys had forgotten about Castiel, they were merely wishing him into their lives, and would do so until they forgot or found something else to entertain themselves with.

"Why else would he be here? He's come to take us to paradise. He's just going to get a...magic portal to help us get there. And then, he'll...HA!" Koschei lunged at Theta, scooping him up into his arms and throwing him over his shoulder. "Swoop down and grab us!"

Theta squirmed in Koschei grip, giggling and struggling at the same time. "Wait!" he cried through outbursts of laughter.

"What?" Koschei froze, worried that he'd hurt his already injured friend. He lowered him to the ground so he could take a look at the cut on Theta's leg. He'd completely forgotten about it when Castiel had arrived. It was only half-washed; watery blood dimmed the colour of Theta's tan, but the cut was sealed with a chained scab. It was slightly shorter than it had been a few moments earlier. It had healed slightly because of the Time Lord's regenerative biology.

Theta looked back at him with wide eyes; they were trying to be scared, but Koschei knew Theta's face like he knew how to breathe, and he saw the mischief behind them. He was playing with him.

"The beast Torvic!" Theta said, grabbing Koschei's arm and shaking it. "If he catches us, he'll claw out all our insides!"

"Then we'll fight. One minute." he ran off, coming back a moment later with two long branches, "Take a sword, soldier. It's just us two against his army. We have to fight them off until Castiel gets here. Oh NO!" Koschei bent his body in a strange way, "I've been hypnotised! Look out!"

Theta dodged as Koschei swung at him with his branch. He smiled breathlessly, raising with own branch to defend himself from Koschei's attacks. He moved to hit Koschei in the thigh, but Koschei twisted gracefully away. Theta huffed with jealousy - Koschei always seemed to be able to predict someone's next move.

Koschei hit Theta hard in the stomach and Theta stumbled backwards with an _'oof!'_. "You might have to leave me behind!" Koschei said, jumping at him again. This time, Theta raised his branch just time to block the attack.

"Never!" Theta cried, shoving Koschei away. He swung for his shoulder. He hit him and Theta used the moment to leap forwards. He reached out and touched Koschei's forehead with his fingers. "You're free, now! Let's get to the fort. We'll be safe there!"

Koschei nodded. The two of them fled through the grass, yelling and waving the branches above them. It wasn't long before Koschei began to race Theta. "Come on!" he called, waving a hand. Theta kept up well for a while. They were equally matched when it came to speed - but then a shot of pain went up Theta's injured leg and he stumbled. Crying out, his leg collapsed, body rolling after it.

When Koschei reached Theta, the boy was brushing away blood and dirt, tears in his eyes. "Its fine." he said, "Don't worry about it. It's nearly gone anyway." Theta looked up and Koschei's hand was outreached towards him. Smudging blood and mud into Koschei's hand, Theta allowed the taller boy to pull him up. Theta groaned a little, his knee buckling, but he managed to stay standing.

Koschei's tiny face screwed up at the sight, but when Theta looked up, he grinned. "Hey, guess what?"

Theta blinked in confusion, "…what?"

"I'm an angel-of-the-lord – and I can fly!" Koschei went to stand in front of Theta and turned his back to him. He looked over his shoulder when Theta didn't jump on his back straight away, "Come on! Limited time offer this!"

Theta frowned. "You treat me like a tot sometimes."

"That's because you are one."

"My other leg works fine, you know!" To prove his point, Theta gave Koschei's shin a good kick and sent him to his knees. Koschei groaned and laughed at the same time.

"Okay! Okay! Seriously now. You can't walk like that."

Theta pushed out his bottom lip. "Well, I _can, _but since you offered..." then he jumped onto his back, and Koschei stood up.

Koschei was strong. He carried Theta effortlessly. Of course, it helped that Theta was lanky. As Koschei ran through the forest, almost tripping in the undergrowth, Theta whooped, throwing his head and arms back. Koschei laughed, keeping a firm grip on his friend's thighs, until he was confident enough to stretch his arms outwards like Castiel's wings. Theta squealed with happiness!

Until he lost his balance and toppled; then he was squealing with fright.

His hands flew around Koschei's face and neck and the other boy gagged. Koschei grabbed Theta's thighs to balance him. Theta's fingers accidentally went into his mouth and Koschei grumbled. But Theta wasn't listening. He just clung on tighter.

They crashed into a pile of leaves.

Spirals of silver, blue and purple were thrown into the air as the boys landed, both of them laughing breathlessly. Koschei shook leaves from his hair and threw his grin to Theta. Theta rubbed a new bruise on his elbow, but grinned back regardless. Koschei got up first and helped Theta to his feet before they left forest. Theta didn't climb back on Koschei's back because they both knew that 'Castiel' had done his job and taken them to 'paradise'.

Before them stretched a long strip of red land, empty except for them and a boulder - which acted as a warning for a sudden drop to a river. The grass moved slowly in the summer breeze, and the river was loud and soothing in the boy's ears. They stopped to rest next to the giant rock. Koschei heave a sigh, pressing himself up against it, sweaty long hair falling over his eyes.

Theta knelt down in the grass next to his friend. He pressed his open palm against the stone, as if he was listening for a heartbeat. Then his fingers moved to the two circular patterns carved there, side by side, and traced the ridges with his fingers, marking out his each signal that spelt their names. Their birth names. Their real names.

Koschei and Theta used to always meet at this rock early in the mornings. They would leave the Citadel and wander up to the moors to watch the sunrise. It didn't matter if one of them was late - the good thing about living on a planet that circled two suns was that if you missed the first sunrise, you could watch the second one a few hours later. After both suns had risen, the two of them would play together for the entire day!

On rainy days, the two of them would stay inside the Citadel - the city was engulfed by a gigantic dome which was built to protect them from attackers - no rain was just a perk, even though there were days, when there was nothing fun to do in the Citadel, where they'd run out and splash around in the mud.

The Citadel was a vast shimmering city of silver and gold, and Theta and Koschei grew up similar households on separate sides of the city. Koschei grew up in the House of Oakdown with his parents, and Theta, with his parents, older brother and sister, lived in the House of Lungbarrow. Both were very respected families.

Both of their fathers would often have meetings in the Great Hall of Lungbarrow. Once, Theta and Koschei sneaked inside to listen to their chatter. Politics. War. Time. Those were the three topics they always discussed, looming over papers. Once, Theta let loose his pet cobblemouse, which ran across the table and threw all the plans and projections in a fluttering mess in the air. They burst into hysterical laughter while the usually calm adults were scrambling around, trying to catch the papers. To say their fathers were displeased was putting it lightly.

After that incident they spent their time chasing each other across the red pastures of Mount Perdition, where Koschei's father owned the land, and built dens out of sticks and mud in the forests, and tried to farm their own food - which put them in hospital for a week - and running around dreaming of a future they could not have.

When they turned eight years old, that life was over. At the age of eight, children were taken from their families and to the Academy. But first, they spent a week or so, depending on the child, in a Provision House to prepare for the many years they would spend in education. It was coincidence that the two boys had the same birthday - people often said that's why they had such a good bond.

So they were leaving home together. On that day, Koschei spent the first few hours with his family as they lectured him on what to do and not to do. Koschei gave a solemn, final goodbye before leaving for Theta's house. When Theta's mother opened the door and saw the paleness on Koschei's face that day, she pulled him into a hug. Koschei's mother hardly ever hugged him - but Theta's mother was warm and kind and always let him in. Usually, Theta would be sleeping when Koschei arrived, so Theta's mother would read to him while making breakfast. But that day was different. When she let him in that day, Theta was already up and sat on the stairs, his face wet with frightened tears.

Theta's mother packed them a basket full of fruit, with a kiss on the cheek for Theta and forehead for Koschei. She took hold of Theta firmly by the shoulders. "Don't you ever forget me, understand?" and Theta nodded "I won't, mother. I swear." Then she sent them away. They'd gone up to the moores and leant against their rock, chomping nervously through the food. Theta's mother gave them a blunt knife to dig out the seeds if they wanted to, and after a while of silence, Koschei challenged Theta to see how far they could spit the seeds. Later, Theta decided to use the knife to carve their birth names into the stone, so everyone would know - this place was marked by them; they owned it. He hid he knife under the plants when the Schoolmasters came to collect them.

Sat there now, with a throbbing cut on his leg, Theta traced his fingers along the etching. It was still raw. The sight of it made something well up inside him – a powerful force in his lungs and behind his eyes – unable to resist it, Theta let out a sniffled sob. A second later, a warm arm wrapped round his shoulders and pulled him from the rock and to a warm body. Theta pressed his face against Koschei's shoulder and wept. "I want to go home!" he wailed. He dug his nails into Koschei's arms and pulled, "Let's go home, Kos! We can climb the tree under my bedroom window and explore Mount Perdition like we said we would. Please...let's just go back…"

Koschei sighed loudly, clenching his fists, "Just because we don't have a home any more, doesn't mean we can't do all that stuff we planned. They'll have to lock us up first. Right, Theta?"

Theta said nothing, but at least he'd stopped sobbing.

"And anyway, home's no better than where we are now."

There was a moment of quiet.

"There's no Torvic at home." Theta said.

"I guess not."

Theta wiped his face. "What you said before..." Theta licked his lips, "We could do that, couldn't we? We could be Time Lords together and...travel through time and space. We could even find Castiel! I mean...if you wanted. I wouldn't do it without you."

Koschei looked at him through the corner of his eye, and then a smile pulled at his lips. His hand flew from Theta's shoulders to his hair and ruffled it "Naw! Such a cute little tot, you!"

Theta pushed him away, "I am NOT!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!" Koschei laughed, "Okay, okay, stop now. You have to do what I say because I'm the captain, and you're the companion."

Theta's mouth fell open. "No! _I'm_ the captain. You can be the...engineer." he finished lamely.

Koschei stared at him. And stared some more. Then he fell into hysterics and Theta turned red like the grass beneath him.

"You know, that doesn't sound so bad." Koschei said, laughter suddenly gone. He pulled Theta close again, resting his chin atop his head. "I'll fix all the messes you'll make. And...We'll travel anywhere we want and no one will ever stop us because if they do, we'll just run away again, and we're faster so they'll never catch us!"

They were silent for a while, leaning against their rock and looking up at the orange sky, both of them wondering about what it was like up there, with the stars. Joining their minds telepathically, they felt into a light doze, their heads filled with shared images of what they though space-time travel would be like. After a while, Theta shuffled away from Koschei and broke the weak telepathic connection.

"Kos?" he said in a small voice.

Koschei didn't open his eyes. He was still tired, neither that or irritated at something, judging by the small frown pulled on his face. "Hmm?"

"Can I still be the captain?"

Then Koschei and Theta were laughing again and the pain was forgotten for a while.

* * *

Theta dreamt of monsters. They were large and black with pupil-less eyes. In the dream, Koschei and Theta were running, the monsters blundering after them, but they were safe until Theta's leg gave way and he fell to the ground. The monsters were close now, each one with the same face, the face of Torvic.

Then Koschei transformed into a mighty beast, much more powerful and terrifying than the Torvic-monsters. He battled all the monsters at once in a clash of claws and teeth. Theta saw the glint of a claw and suddenly he was in the middle of the battle, watching the monsters all around him - only now he didn't know which one was Koschei. The monsters piled together, surrounding him with teeth and terrifying white eyes.

Theta jerked awake and a white eye was still staring at him. He froze. Slowly, he pulled the bed covers up so nothing but his eyes could be seen, never once looking away from that horribly bright white eye that stared back. Staring at it made his eyes ache.

It was a long moment before he realised that the white eye wasn't an eye at all. He pulled the covers down and saw that it was nothing but a lamp that had been switched on during the night. Next to it, Theta could make out a silhouetted figure, standing dark and tall against the light, watching him. He stifled a gasp and ducked under the covers again.

There was a chuckle. When Theta looked again, the figure had moved slightly and he could just make out who it was. Torvic.

Torvic was a tall boy with pale skin and green eyes to match. His limbs were short like coiled up springs and his fingers, which curled round something long and metal, were calloused like paper. The shadows from the lamplight enhanced the ghostly colour of his skin - many had said he was ill as a young Time Tot, to the point where many thought he would have died, but Theta couldn't believe it because Torvic looked so muscular and healthy despite his paleness.

He usually slept on the other side of the room, shared by eight other boys, including Koschei. Theta looked over at Torvic's bed just to be sure. After all, there had been hundreds of him in his nightmare, and Theta wasn't sure if he wasn't still in it - but Torvic's bed was empty. The covers were tangled and had been kicked onto the floor. There were also small pills shattered on the mattress, where a box of them had fallen over. Torvic probably stole freeze-dried pills for a midnight snack, Theta thought with disapproval.

Theta glanced back at the other boy and flinched when a bright light shone in his eyes. Torvic was using the reflection to shine the lamplight into Theta's eyes. Theta threw his arm up to shield himself.

"Aww." cooed Torvic, "Don't like that, little Time Tot? That's what you get for being awake!"

Theta lowered his arm when Torvic lowered whatever metal object he was holding, only to shine it in Theta's eyes again when they were unprotected.

"I bet you had a bad dream, you overgrown cobblemouse. You going to run off again? Well, if you do, don't come back. No one wants you here."

Theta wanted to say how he didn't want to come back anyway. He wouldn't have come back at all if the Chancellery Guard hadn't found him and Koschei, and dragged them back to the Provision House. But Theta bit his tongue and instead asked Torvic, "Why are you awake?"

"Shut up!" Torvic hissed. He leapt down from the desk, and Theta blinked spots from his eyes. Torvic approached his bed and Theta shuffled away. Torivc sneered and abruptly held up the metal object for him to see, and he flicked a switch on the side. A blade snapped out. Theta flinched. He wrapped his fists in the duvet and stared at the knife, wide eyed. "It's great, isn't it? My dad gave it to me. Right before they took me." He tossed the knife in the air and caught it by the blade. It cut his palm but he didn't seem to care. Theta had to remind himself that Torvic had a knife because his father is a carpenter. He was highly respected by people all over the Citadel for his work, but no one admired him more than Torvic. "What did your parents give you?"

Blood was dripping onto Theta's bedsheets and he slowly crawled away and out of bed. The floorboard sucked the heat from his feet and he shuddered.

Torvic pushed the blade back into the hilt and wiped his blood onto Theta's bed.

"You... You shouldn't play with sharp things." Theta said.

Torvic shrugged, looking down at the knife like it held all the wonder of life within it. "I see grown-ups with sharp things all the time. Why should I be any different? It's not like you're going to tell on me - right?" Torvic pointed the sheathed blade at him with narrowed eyes. "Right?"

"Your hand is bleeding!"

"Your leg is bleeding."

Theta glanced down - but his leg was fine and Torvic laughed. Theta squirmed uncomfortably, because Torvic was right in a sense. His leg, although healed now, had been bleeding earlier, and also because of Torvic's knife. The boys of Provision House 5 had settled down for dinner in the hall, in clumps of friendship groups. Being there for three days had given them plenty time to claim which table they were going to sit at, their territory. Koschei and Theta had a small table in the middle of the hall, and Torvic was sat with his friends not far from them.

It wasn't long into dinner that Torvic started throwing the freeze-dried pills he didn't like at Theta's head. At first, Koschei and Theta chose to ignore him, but when Torvic started throwing abuse with every pill, with his friends egging him on, Koschei went red with fury and marched over to him. At first it was just yelling - then yelling turned into punching, and that turned into a violent wrestle. With this being the best excitement the boys had since arriving, everyone began cheering and whooping.

Theta had rushed over to break up the fighting - or at least try to convince Koschei to calm down so they wouldn't get into trouble when the grownups arrived - when Torvic's knife had fallen from his pocket. Torvic carried that knife wherever he went and, seeing it clatter to the ground, he ignored - or forgot - Koschei and plunged towards it. Koschei used this moment of blindness to subdue Torvic, but Torvic had already grabbed the knife. They wrestled like that for a while, when Koschei made a grab for the knife. Torvic rolled them over to evade this and - Koschei would later claim it was Torvic, and vice versa, but it happened all the same - someone pressed the switch on the knife and the blade snapped out, straight into Theta's leg.

The memory made Theta's throat close. Torvic threw his head back and laughed. "You're upset over a little cut? You're weak! See, look at my hand -" the cut had healed already, as if it never were, "It didn't even hurt. You're just weak."

"No, I'm not!"

"Okay, so hit me." Torvic challenged, spreading his arms out wide, "Get me off this bed, and I'll let you go right back to sleep - big day tomorrow, right? Come on! Do it!"

Theta tried to swallow the tightness in his throat. He had never hit anyone before. He had long legs for running over hills, and lanky arms for looking at the giant pictures in giant history books in his father's giant study. The closest thing to hitting someone was the playful shoves and kicks he gave Koschei while they played, but he never considered that to be hitting.

Sucking in a breath, Theta raised his arms to give Torvic the hardest punch he could throw... but then two arms wrapped round Torvic's chest from behind and Torvic was pulled from the bed and on the floor, being brutally kicked in the stomach. "You little piece of -!"

"KOS!" Theta shrieked.

Koschei glanced up momentarily, which gave Torvic enough time to jump up and drag Koschei down in a headlock. Koschei choked, twisted, and shoved a hand in Torvic's face to loosen the grip. "Get off me!" Koschei bellowed, punching Torvic in the mouth. Torvic rolled away with a cry.

The other boys were waking up now.

"What's going on?!" one demanded.

Another cheered, "A fight! Get him, Tor!"

Torvic was up on his feet as just Koschei, grabbing Theta's wrist, ran out of the room. Mere seconds later, Torvic followed and the room emptied behind him, excited boys spilling out into the hallways.

The hallways were a blast of light compared to the dark dorms. As Theta was dragged along by Koschei, he could see the cuts on his friend's chuckles, the tension between his shoulder blades, and the dirty shoes on his feet. _Why was Kos wearing shoes?_ He couldn't help but think before Koschei spun round and shoved Theta behind him. Torvic stopped chasing them. The hallways were growing fuller, and fuller, louder and louder.

Theta grabbed Koschei's arm and cried, "Don't, Kos! Just calm down." but Koschei ignored him.

As boys began to gather, Torvic busted lips curled up with determination. He looked Koschei dead in the eye and then glanced at Theta behind him. "Why don't you run back to your barn, cobblemouse?" Torvic sneered, looking to Koschei for his reaction. "Try not to throw up this time."

The growing group of boys laughed. Theta flushed with humiliation. That was the catalyst. With a snarl, Koschei lunged forward a fist. The cheers turned into roars.

Torvic dodged Koschei's blow - but only just; Koschei caught his eye. Torvic winced in pain. He lost his footing, but a wall of boys quickly pushed him back. A wrestling ring of boys were gathered round, whooping and cheering, laughing and some even making bets. All the while more boys waking up from the sound and rushing out to join the thrill.

Theta wanted to intervene, to try and calm down his friend, but he remembered the feel of the blade through his flesh at the dinnertime fight and how badly it ached. So he did what he was good at. He ran.

Soon, the cheering and the thudding as bones and body smacking against the walls woke the adults. Five of them came charging down the corridor; three of them intervened. One grabbed Koschei's arms just as he was about to hit Torvic, another grabbed his feet, which had lurched forwards as an alternative form of attack after his arm was grabbed, and the third grabbed and dragged Torvic away. The other two worked through the process of silencing and shuffling away the crowd.

Koschei was still struggling, his fingers itching to get another punch in. "Separate!" the man shouted who had hold of Koschei's arm, pushing Koschei against the wall and securing him there with a powerful hand. The man, Koschei could now see, was one of the schoolmasters, Ra'an.

The other man, Akhar, who had been holding Koschei legs, had put him down and was addressing the crowd, some of which who were still whooping, drunk on excitement. "Be QUIET, all of you!" he screamed, and the boys flinched, the sound dropping suddenly - although there were a few lonely whoops that shouted out, and these boys were pulled away from the rest by the two other men and made to stand alone, almost as if they have also been a part of the fighting. "Is this how a group of future Time Lords supposed to act?!" Akhar demanded, his face turning red like the early morning sky from fury, "I think not! Incidents like this cannot, and will not, go unpunished."

"He started it!" Koschei hissed, spitting out blood.

"We don't care who started it!" Ra'an snapped, looking deadly so close to Koschei. "Koschei. Torvic. This is the sixth occasion in _three_ days! Why can't you boys get on?"

"And it seems like everyone else decided to show up..." murmured Akhar, eyes darting over the heads of the boys. He frowned. "No, wait...where's...Where is Theta Sigma?"

"Check the barn!" Torvic spat, wiping blood from his chin, "It's where he belongs!"

Growling, Koschei lunged at Torvic again but Ra'an anchored him down with two hands.

"Koschei! Torvic!" Akhar said, looking at them firmly, the vein in his neck throbbing with trying to stop himself was shouting again, "Your Initiation have been suspended."

Koschei's mouth fell open, "But he started it!" he shrieked.

"That's so unfair!" Torvic shouted, just as dismayed, "You can't do that!"

"Who's in charge? Oh yes. Us. I think you'll find we can." Akhar turned sharply to the crowd when he heard some of the boys sniggering, "Your behaviour is being monitored. If we see anything we don't like, you will be punished just as equally. And...if you continue to act repulsively, I see to it that _none _of you go through Initiation. You can work with Gan, the cleaner, for the rest of your days."

A grumble went through the crowd.

"Now." Akhar said, taking slow breaths, "Back to bed all of you. Torvic, come will me. Ra'an, deal with Koschei and then locate Theta Sigma. He couldn't have gotten far."

Obediently, the boys wandered off back to their rooms, sharing the odd mutter and facial expression that communicated more than words ever could - some even sent rants through telepathy. Throwing a dirty look over his shoulder at Koschei, Torvic followed Akhar down the corridor and round the corner. Koschei pressed his back against the wall, eyes downcast. His jaw was sore and his eye bruised from the fight - but it was the humiliation of having his Initiation suspended that caused the redness in his face. How would he explain to Theta that he wouldn't be going to the Academy with him after all?

"So when's my Initiation, then?" he grumbled.

"We won't know until further notice." Ra'an answered. "Kos...what was all this about?"

Koschei shrugged.

"Silence is often a mask for deception." Ra'an said. "Perhaps it's a good thing your Initiation has been suspended. We could get you a special tutor to help control your anger."

"He hurt Theta!" Koschei said at last, "I couldn't just do nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! He was hurting him! I saw it."

"Okay." Ra'an said - meaningless. "You should return to your dorm. I'll talk to the professors about the new date for your Initiation and get back to you."

"You're going to punish Torvic, right?" demanded Koschei.

"We already have."

"And what about at dinner? You didn't punish him then!"

Ra'an's eyes flashed, "How we run this establishment is no business of yours. You're too young to understand. Now, back to bed with you."

Saying nothing, Koschei slid off the wall and walked away with his head down, cheeks flushed, and fists clenched. He passed a woman on his way and mumbled a quick, "G'night, Nurse Taluma." to her before disappearing into his room.

Ra'an, whose eyes had followed Koschei until he vanished, lifted his gaze to meet Taluma's and he sighed at the sight of her. "Oh, I'm sorry to have woken you, Taluma."

But Taluma just smiled, "That's quite all right, Ra'an. Are all the boys in bed now?"

"All except one." Ra'an replied, "Theta Sigma has run off again. Twice in one day!"

Taluma's eyes widened with concern. "Well, do we know where he's gone?"

"I suspect the barn."

The nurse nodded. "Of course."

It wasn't the first time Theta Sigma had gone to hide in the barn. In fact, when the boy first arrived three days earlier, he'd rushed off into the barn before he'd even step foot inside the Provision House, claiming that he was home sick. Rumours flew amongst the other boys like pollen spores in a daisy field that he'd vomited in a feeding troth - beginning the cycle of teasing and bullying from the others.

"Besides it's dark; he wouldn't have gone far." Ra'an continued. "You should get some sleep, Tal. I'll fetch him."

"I'll go will you - _and,_ before you protest, Theta will prefer it if I go. He's very smitten with me."

Ra'an raised his eyebrows as Taluma went to the doorway and swapped her slippers for her outdoor boots. "Is he now?" he questioned with a frown, and Taluma suddenly laughed loudly, and had to clamp her hand over her mouth at Ra'an's expression. "What is it? Why are you laughing?"

Taluma simply waved her other hand and, still giggling, she opened the door, the two of them stepping out into the twilight. The horizon was lined with a gold and red trim since the second sun was only just disappearing into the ground, following the first. The taste of night was strong and rich on the air, and the smell of flowers and damp grass surround them like a fog. It was warm also, since it was quite late in the summer season.

"I don't know why you're so sweet on him." Ra'an said as they made their way through the freshly cut grass; there were still rags of red grass clippings scattered around. "He causes a stirring wherever he goes, runs away, cries all time..." Taluma interrupted here, saying "surely not _all _the time..." but Ra'an insisted, "No, it's _all the time!"_

"He's just missing home. I was the same."

"He has friends!" Ra'an said, "Koschei and he grew up in the same area, didn't they?"

"You just don't understand. We can't all have parents like yours."

"My parents were good to me. They made it perfectly clear that it was strictly business between us. They told me everyday since the day I was born that I was leaving home at eight. The deal was that they fed me, clothed me, kept me warm for eight years, and in return I made good on our name. They created me. It was fair."

"That's how it should be." Taluma agreed, "But, Theta Sigma isn't like that. I don't know why, but he needs a little more support than the other boys."

"You're not his mother, Taluma, and he's not your child." Ra'an said, gently but sternly. "None of them are."

Taluma flinched, her hand instinctively coming to rest on her stomach. "...I know." she choked out a moment later.

Ra'an saw the pain in her face and carefully reached over to take hold of the hand on her stomach and ease it away. He held it gently in his, stroking his thumb over her soft skin. "He talks to you, though."

"Well, he's in the infirmary often enough." Taluma seemed to brighten up at the topic change.

"Gets into fights, does he? He'd make a good soldier."

"I don't think he starts the fights." Taluma knew. Theta had told her about Torvic's bullying and about how Koschei comes and fights him away. Theta always spoke of Koschei as if he was the hero of some sort of dazzling fairytale - but Taluma was worried for Theta. Why was it that Theta spent more time in the infirmary than Torvic and Koschei combined? What would happen when Theta, or someone else, got seriously injured? Koschei may be Theta's best friend, but Taluma wasn't sure if he was the best role model. She wanted Theta to make new friends - but three days was a little early, wasn't it? Especially for a boy who wouldn't stay put long enough.

"His Initiation is tomorrow night, isn't it?" Ra'an said, and Taluma nodded, still very much lost in thought. "He's not exactly...impressive, is he? Nothing like his brother. You remember him? Irving Braxiatel. Now _he_ had something in him; a sort of determination. I wasn't surprised at all at the results of his first Academic year. He was brilliant."

They approached the barn - a brittle, wooden building that had been disused for years. It was in use back when Provision House 5, and the land that surrounded it, was used for farming. That was back when everything was farmed, before the introduction of freeze-dried pills for sustenance. The door gave a groaning creak as it swung open and they stepped inside. Ra'an spotted the bed up on the second floor of the barn; a bed made from two over-turned mangers, covered in a layer of straw, and a scratchy blanket on top, and shook his head incredulously. "Why does he have to sleep out here?"

"He doesn't want the others to hear him crying."

"Why does he have to cry all the time?"

Taluma gave him a look, "You _know_ why."

"They'll be no crying in the army."

Taluma shushed him. She stepped up the short ladder onto the second floor, where Theta was hiding under the blankets, with Ra'an following. Ra'an looked over the bed and rolled his eyes. "Don't pretend you're not awake! We're not idiots!"

"Come and sleep in the house." Taluma said gently. "You don't have to be alone. If you can hear me, you're very welcome in the house with the other boys." There was no answer from Theta, but she wasn't expecting one, so she carried on without a pause. "I'll leave the door unlatched. Come in any time." She motioned to Ra'an to leave and, looking uncertain, he complied and climbed back down the ladder.

"He can't just run away crying all the time if he wants to join the army." Ra'an said to Taluma as they walked away.

"He _doesn't want_ to join the army. I keep telling you."

"Well he's not going to the Academy, is he, that boy? He'll never make a Time Lord."

Under the covers, Theta flinched. Tears were just beginning to dry on his face, but more were soon spilling out from his eyes. A sob escaped him as he heard the door to the barn shut. He heard the voices repeated in his head: Torvic's, Ra'an's, his father's: _You're weak!_ _He'll never make a Time Lord. Why can't you be like Braxiatel?_ Theta lay awake late that night, swallowing tears with his sobs, and when he finally slept, he had nightmares.

* * *

**References:**

Doctor Who, series 8, "_Listen."_

Toclafane - (Doctor Who, series 3, _"Sound of the Drums.")_

"Time Lords ascended into consciousness" - The Time Lords plan in New Who, 2009 special 'The End Of Time Part 2'

Time Tots - very young Time Lords. (taken from the Doctor Who Wiki) I'm assuming children under 10 are considered Tots since a Time Lords childhood is pretty long even if they age like a human. The Doctor said in new-series 4, episode 'The Stolen Earth' that he was a kid at 90.

Chancellery Guard - Gallifreyan police force (Classic Who: 'The Deadly Assassin.')

Freeze-dried pills - common Time Lord food. (taken from the Doctor Who Wiki)

Irving Braxiatel - the Doctor's older brother (Doctor Who spin-off novels: 'Virgin New Adventures' He also appeared in many audio-dramas and a animated spin-off series called 'Bernice Summerfield')

_"Children of Gallifrey are taken from their families age of eight."_ \- the Doctor to Martha and Jack (DW, series 3, _"Sound of the Drums.")_

_"oldest and most mighty race in the universe, sworn never to interfere, only to watch."_ \- the Doctor to Martha and Jack (DW, series 3, _"Sound of the Drums."_)

"_Do you remember my father's land back home? Pastures of red grass, stretching far across the slopes of Mount Perdition. We used to run across those fields all day, calling up at the sky…" – _the Master to the Doctor (2009 special: 'The End of Time.')

"…_Not that you could call it childhood. More like a life of duty." – _the Master to Wilfred (2009 special: 'The End Of Time.')


	4. Felony

**Disclaimer: **Yeah…no.

* * *

**Four**

**Felony**

Back in heaven, Balthazar sat on the Pinnacle. His wings – four of them – spread in the grass on either side of him. He'd been promoted, you could say, to Seraphim after the rite of passage. His true form, much larger than that of his previous Fledgling form, mostly resembled a wolf. His feathers were silver and bushy like fur, but they curled like leaves into a pale yellow tip. He held his hands in front of his face. They were long and bony with sharp nails, completely different to soft stubby fingers they used to be. He wasn't staring at the hands, however, he was staring at a white jewel he was holding.

There was a shrill of singing above him, as excited angels showed off their new colours, restless and ready to begin working for their Father. The sky was not as full as it usually was, but slowly filling as angels returned from a moment's tribute to those who had died during the rite of passage.

After a while of sitting alone, Balthazar sensed Uriel beside him. Uriel had also changed. He was a tall, hulking figure with purple, indigo, and red in his feathers. Feathers grew up and around his shoulders like the mane of a lion – his face, also, was similar to the creature, with fangs and a flat, handsome quality to it. He also had the horns of a ram. Balthazar refused to react to his presence.

"You missed the tribute." Uriel said, his voice hard as a rock in the quiet between them. "Angels were asking for you. Daniel, in particular, could have done with your company. I know you two are close and he's lost someone very dear to him as well. Why weren't you there?"

Balthazar scoffed, plucking some flowers from the dirt – two more promptly grew back in their place – and tossed them aside. "Didn't feel like it."

"Castiel would have wanted you to go."

Balthazar clenched his fist around the jewel in his hand. It was white with jagged edges and it glowed when you whispered sweet things to it. He knew Castiel would have been enchanted by something like that, so he was planning on showing it to him after the rite of passage.

"You can't sit here forever." Uriel scolded, "We're not Fledglings any more; we're soldiers. We have a garrison. We have a mission. They're expecting us to begin working straight away. _You_ too."

"Just give me a second." Balthazar said. He didn't look away from the jewel. It had been glowing and warm before, but as Balthazar watched it, the light slowly faded away and the warmth dropped into a cold chill. It could sense Balthazar's intentions towards it.

Balthazar waited until he heard Uriel's wings disappear into silence and walked to the edge of the cliff. He looked down at the stars. The jewel felt like ice now as he stretched out his arm, with nothing but two claws holding it. He wondered; how far would it fall? How far did Castiel fall?

He heard a groan below him and started. He glanced down, ready to tell whoever it was to go away...Then stopped. The jewel went bouncing along the ground.

"Cas!"

Castiel clung to the mountain. His wings, exhausted, lay crippled against his back. His arms were shaking. He was so tired he didn't hear Balthazar's voice, and he didn't notice when Balthazar reached down with one long arm and plucked him from the cliff and into his arms. Balthazar realised how tiny Flegdings were compared to Seraphim and he was a little grateful that Castiel lost consciousness as soon as he let go of the mountain.

"Damn it, Cas! What the hell happened?"

* * *

Hours later, Castiel woke up. He felt heaven's energy pouring into him and sighed with relief. After endless searching and flying through space, he chanced upon a mountain that looked a lot like the Pinnacle, surrounded by blue light, and lunged for it. He couldn't remember what happened after that; he found himself awake in this room. It was bright white and circular, with ridges on the roof that spiralled round each other and met in the middle. The floor where he was lying was soft, almost fluid-like. He sat up carefully, stretching his wings out for a moment, before tucking them under his back.

"Hey. You're awake."

Castiel turned towards the voice. Balthazar was watching him cautiously from the opposite side of the room, as if he'd expected Castiel to suddenly leap up and attack him. He was in his familiar humanoid form – although Castiel couldn't help but notice the colour in his wings. A lump appeared in Castiel's stomach.

Balthazar knew what he was thinking. "I didn't want to scare you."

"You're a Seraph?"

"Yup."

"And your true form is...?"

"A lot different than before." That was all he chose to say on the subject. Instead, he came and sat beside him, leaning back and talking to the roof. "Uriel visited. I kept everyone else away, but I did get Liwet to heal the worst of your wounds. You didn't seem to be healing properly. I guess you were too tired."

Castiel cocked his head. "Who's Liwet?"

Balthazar blinked. "Hmm? Oh! She's a Rit Zen from my garrison. We can trust her: She's not like the others."

"You have a garrison." Castiel murmured, glancing down. "That's good. I'm pleased for you."

"Cas." The tone of Balthazar's voice made Castiel look up. His face was dark and his lips pressed into a thin line. His hooded eyes were hidden. "What happened to you? I thought…well, you know..." his laugh was dry, "The usual."

"I'm fine. I didn't go into the Void…I think."

Balthazar scowled and took a step back. "Excuse me?!" he hissed. Castiel blinked. "You '_think'?_ No offence, Cas, but I thought you were _dead_ and I deserve more than that! What the hell happened? Where the hell where you?"

"That's the thing." Castiel said, getting to his feet, "I don't know where I was! I know that I left heaven. I was with the stars and then...I just flew - well, actually I was flying for hours, until I couldn't do it much longer. I saw this planet…"

"Jibjibjib!" Balthazar cut in waving his hands, effectively stunning Castiel into silence. "_What?_ You saw a planet?" his voice was so demanding that Castiel couldn't help but nod. He was beginning to wonder whether he was truly back in heaven and that this wasn't some strange illusion. Balthazar was acting so strangely! Castiel knew it was a ridiculous thought but he couldn't help it.

Balthazar assessed him quietly and then said, "So you ended up in one of the six realms..."

"One of the what?"

"Six realms. You know the six planes of existence? 'In the beginning there was God, Death, and the Darkness' and all that. _Those _six realms!"

Castiel understood now. He'd had a lesson on it, if he recalled correctly. Fledglings weren't allowed to know many details. He only knew that the six realms were incomplete and they weren't allowed to go near them.

"Oh."

"I know that face. Cas, what the hell have you done?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I may have…possibly…landed on the planet." at the look Balthazar was giving him, he quickly added, "I had to! I was exhausted! If I didn't land I might not have made it back!"

"Please tell me you didn't do something stupid like talk to someone?"

Castiel swallowed.

Balthazar pointed at him accusingly. "You DID! Who was it?"

"Two children."

"And _what_ were they? And what planet were you on? Do you know?"

"I don't know!" Castiel shrugged helplessly. "They said…I think they said they were…Time Lords?"

Balthazar went very, very pale and very, very still. It scared Castiel, who was already lost in a state of confusion, but seeing Balthazar, who was usually so flexible and alive with energy, freeze up like that...it was like time itself had stopped.

"...Time Lords? Do you have any idea what–" Balthazar stopped talking suddenly and turned his head sharply to the right, listening to something Castiel couldn't hear.

"What is it?"

"Seraphim."

"How do you know? No Fledgling has the ability to hear Seraphim."

Balthazar just looked at him, and Castiel felt a hot coal of jealousy settle in his ribcage. "...Oh. Right. Forgot."

"They're coming for you."

Castiel went rigid – that hot coal suddenly flared into a fiery panic. "What? Why?"

"They know you're here. They sensed it when you regained consciousness." Balthazar looked at him dead in the eye, "Forget everything I just said!"

Seconds later, in a flurry of thundering wings, three angels arrived. Two of them Castiel recognised straight away; the Seraphim, Raguel and Ezekiel, as for the third, it took a moment, but Castiel realised it was Anael, the first Fledgling to pass the rite of passage earlier. She looked so different – still beautiful, yes, agile, even more so, but her wings, four of them, were lined with a glimmering red and her face had grown more elegant than it was before.

"Stand down, solider." She said tersely.

"Ma'am." It was Balthazar who replied and Castiel stared at him.

Raguel stepped dangerously towards Castiel, making Castiel snap his gaze back to the older Seraphim and quickly away again out of respect. "Castiel, you will come with us. You're presence has been requested by our superior."

"Permission to speak."

Raguel scowled at Balthazar's interruption and then at Anael, who looked back nervously for a moment but when neither of the Seraphim said anything, Anael nodded to Balthazar. "Permission granted."

"Is Castiel safe?"

Castiel was startled. The forwardness of the question...It was so harsh and demanding and Castiel wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

"That depends." Raguel said.

Ezekiel grunted disapprovingly and Raguel shot him a glare. "We'd just like to ask him some questions, isn't that right, Raguel?"

Raguel didn't answer.

Ezekiel looked kindly at Castiel. "Come with us. We won't keep you long."

Castiel swallowed. Knowing he had no choice anyway, he went with Raguel and Ezekiel. He looked over his shoulder and saw Anael talking to Balthazar in her hushed quick voice, and Balthazar nodding at whatever she was saying. So Anael was Balthazar's commanding officer now. They were both warriors. Maybe they were even part of the same garrison.

Castiel felt sick. It was as though he'd been gone for years, not hours. It was horrible.

A hand found Castiel's shoulder and he suddenly was somewhere completely different. He didn't recognise the place. It was small and made up of four white walls, and a desk against the far wall, where there was another angel, a female. She was in a basic humanoid form but the colours in her wings spoke of her true status. She was Seraphim too, but a special kind, because the colours cover the entirety of her wings instead of just the tips of the feathers. Her face was that of a cat. Her wings were indigo, as were her eyes.

"Hello Castiel." she said.

"…hello."

The mystery angel nodded to Raguel and Ezekiel and they left. Even though Castiel didn't like Raguel, he'd felt much safer with Ezekiel. There was something about this other angel; the way her cat eyes were sharp and without mercy made Castiel's instincts run rampant, whispering _danger, danger, danger, _over and over again.

"I understand you fell during the rite of passage." the angel continued, "Is that right?"

Castiel flushed and reluctantly confirmed the statement to be true.

"And, as I'm sure you're aware, most Fledglings don't usually return from a fall – in fact, you're the first." There was something in her voice that Castiel didn't like. It was clipped but confident as though it had been rehearsed. Castiel suddenly got the feeling that he was being interrogated and, like a good solider would, he said nothing.

"Will you tell me how you did it?" the angel prompted, "I'm _very_ interested."

She didn't sound remotely interested. But this couldn't continue much longer, Castiel knew. They're be more consequences for him if it did. He remembered an angel Aurora who was always getting up to mischief. They say she disobeyed many orders and never repented a single one of her actions. One day, she was taken by Raguel's garrison to be questioned - she was never heard of again. The superiors refused to comment on whether she was dead, left heaven, or something completely different. Castiel wondered; was a similar fate going to befall him now? No. Castiel wouldn't allow that to happen. He had to explain his actions.

"I flew."

"But you didn't make it back straight away."

"…no."

"Where did you go?"

He was about to reply – but then he remembered what Balthazar said about the six planes of existence and stopped himself.

"Why aren't you answering?"

"I…um…I hit my head." Castiel said. It wasn't a lie, and it was much easier to say than one.

"You've forgotten?"

Castiel said nothing.

The angel pursed her lips and hummed thoughtfully. "It's open space down there. I can't help but wonder what you could have possibly hit your head on. Are you sure there isn't anything you can tell me?"

Castiel said nothing.

"I see." The angel said, rising from her seat, "Wait here, Castiel. I need to prepare some equipment."

"Okay."

Castiel's instincts were on edge. Something dangerous was going to happen, he knew it. He followed the angel with his eyes. She was stood by, in earth terms, a dental chair, looking into a cabinet on wheels. From the cabinet she took out a drill. (Despite common belief heaven wasn't void of technology, though it wasn't favoured) She looked at him and gestured to the chair with the hand-piece. "Please, seat. Relax."

"What's that for?"

"You've forgotten information that is vital to heaven. I'm going to help you remember it. Sit."

Castiel moved towards the chair.

Then the room began to tremble.

"Not again." the angel hissed, her fist clenching around the drill which snarled.

Castiel shuddered. The ground was shaking wildly and the light in the room was becoming brighter and brighter until... Castiel felt his presence before he saw him. It was like being mentally punched in the face, only imagine you just woke up when it happened. Castiel had to close his eyes. He was amazed and terrified at the same time.

"STOP!" commanded the Archangel. "Don't even think about doing that or I'll smite you on the spot!"

Castiel flinched. The Archangel was behind him, barely a breath away.

"But..." the female angel spluttered. "My job is to find information that may of may not depend on the future of heaven. That's what you selected me for!"

"First of all, don't answer back. Second, he's a _fledging! _I won't let you do this, it's disgusting! Fledglings cannot be subjected to this kind of interrogation - and we've lost enough siblings for today. Now, call back your subordinates and let the little one go."

"But, the subject.."

"...will be placed under extra guard if need be. An elite team has been dispatched to see what damage has been caused. Until they get back, we can't fully assess the situation. Now, do as you're told."

"...I understand."

There was a moment of silence and Castiel found the courage to slowly open his eyes and look at the Archangel who came to his rescue - but just as he did so, Ezekiel was called back. Then his hand was on Castiel's arm, and the white room dissolved.

* * *

Balthazar and Castiel were walking down one of the halls when it happened. Castiel was explaining what happened when he went with Raguel and Ezekiel - he'd only just come back and the two of them decided to find Uriel. However, rumours about Castiel's return had spread like a virus and many angels were talking about him. The rumours even spread to the highest hierarchy of heaven – myself – and soon everyone knew the name 'Castiel.' Funnily enough, it was at this point that I first heard the name but of course, like all things, its significance was nothing to me. Rumours were just viruses, maybe worse, and I didn't like to catch them.

Typically, it wasn't long before the virus came swirling back.

"Hey, Daniel!" Balthazar called as the other Seraphim angel approached them in a humanoid form. Similar to Balthazar, his four coloured wings were the only evidence of his change; they were banded in black and white. "You feeling better?"

"I see you are." Daniel grunted, glaring at Castiel, "I also see that the rumours were true. Castiel has returned. How lovely."

Castiel blinked. "...We haven't really been introduced."

Balthazar cleared his throat. "Well, this is Daniel from my old class. I mentioned him once or twice, didn't I? Nice to meet you. Blah, blah, blah. Cas, let's go now, quickly."

Daniel stood in their way.

"Don't." Balthazar warned him. Castiel tensed. He knew a challenger when he saw one.

"So, _Cas, _how did you do it?" Daniel ground out, "How'd you survive?"

Not again! "Well, I…"

"I'm surprised you haven't been punished already." Daniel continued, "After all, you did fail the rite of passage."

Castiel's wings twitched. Something twisted inside him.

"Everyone else who failed fell into the Void!" Daniel accused. "You should have too! There's no reason why you should survive!"

"Maybe I'm stronger!" Castiel blurted before he thought about it. He didn't care. He was trembling with rage.

Daniel gave a sharp laugh. "As strong as us? Sure. Whatever you say."

"Back off, Daniel. Go sulk somewhere else." Balthazar said, tugging on Castiel's arm. "Come on, Cas."

Castiel refused to back down.

Daniel chuckled. "He wants to fight, Balth. Even _you _can respect that."

"Don't you even…"

A moment later, Daniel was towering over them in his true form. Ah, Castiel suddenly thought. He'd forgotten that Daniel was no longer Fledging. He was bigger and stronger. Much, much, much bigger. And his hands – no longer humanoid – were like pincers. Castiel swallowed. He barely had time to register anything else because one of the sword-arms was swooping towards him. Castiel stumbled back to dodge.

Something stopped it. A tight bony hand gripped Daniel's wrist and Castiel turned round, and looked up, to see Balthazar's true form glaring at Daniel.

"Back down, Daniel." Balthazar hissed, his fist tightening around Daniel's wrist so hard that Castiel swore he could hear the groan of pressure. "I don't want to fight you. Not like this."

"I just wanted to scare him. I'm not going to hurt him."

They've fought many times, Castiel remembered suddenly, and so Balthazar must have known everything about Daniel, including what he looked like when he lied. Snarling, Balthazar pushed Daniel's wrist back. Daniel twisted his wrist and suddenly only air was in Balthazar's fingers. Daniel had leapt back, his hand re-forming in a twist of smoke. Balthazar lunged, shoving Daniel against the ground.

Castiel propelled his wings to get out of the way. He had ever felt so small in his entire life. He was an insect before two lions.

Daniel kicked Balthazar off him and moved to punch him, but Balthazar was too agile and slipped away before he could. They always duelled together, as equals, but Castiel couldn't help but wonder where they still equals now they had grown?

Castiel scrambled to get out of the way as Daniel was thrown down to the ground were Castiel had been seconds before.

"Back down, honey." Balthazar cooed.

Daniel just spat and threw him off. They circled each other again.

Castiel, scrambling to get out of the way off another attack, studied their movements. Balthazar, as always, was flexible and swift, able to deliver multiple attacks in seconds. Daniel was similar - he imagined this was because their rivalry had each other studying the other and learning from them - but slower, with more brutality with each attack. Daniel loved to fight; he drew his energy from it. Balthazar did not.

Daniel swung his blade-like arm towards Balthazar, who weaved effortlessly from the attack. Grinning, Balthazar swirled around and delivered a blow to Daniel's back, in the sensitive area below his wings. The wings shuddered and slapped back as Daniel turned to face his opponent. Daniel raised his arms, blade gleaming as it faced Balthazar, and charged.

Castiel gasped, "Balthazar, look out!"

Balthazar didn't move. He braced himself, pushing firmly against the ground, raring for impact. When Daniel hit, Balthazar grabbed his arms, the blades pushing into his hands and opening glowing flesh. The pain of his inner grace being exposed was excruciating - imagine cutting yourself with a blade that was first placed in fire, and then cutting the same wound straight afterwards with a knife covered in ice. Balthazar roared. His feet left wounds in the ground as Daniel pushed against him, but Balthazar had enough strength in his trembling hind legs to halt the movement.

"Calm down." Balthazar said through ground teeth, "Get a hold of yourself before you do something you regret."

Tears were in Daniel's eyes. "It's not fair! Why did Ambriel have to die?! Everyone loved him, needed him - nobody wants that spawn! It's not fair, damn it!"

"It's not Castiel's fault, you idiot!"

Daniel was swaying. He looked exhausted, up close, and dizzy - but this didn't sway his hysteria. "Maybe so." he muttered. "But we're angels of the lord. We should be allowed to deliver JUSTICE! Let me punish him, Balthazar! It's fair that way!"

"You've gone insane."

Daniel twitched. "You won't stop me, Balth."

"You're ill, Danny!"

Angels don't usually show such an intense expression of emotions. They were considered a disadvantage to warriors like Daniel; something that was usually cured by a Rit Zen, or if worse comes to worse, a visit from the hierarchy. In heaven, they called it warrior sickness, most common after battle or a sudden death of a close comrade. On Earth, a similar affliction, although it's effects were slightly different on humans, has a much more fitting term: shell-shock.

Daniel cracked a smirk - a depressed smirk. "I'll hurt you too. I don't want to, but I will. You can't stop me."

Then he was gone. Balthazar's fingers were curling round smoke.

Daniel flew swiftly, appearing behind Balthazar. Balthazar turned just in time to block a slice to the face - but he was too slow to completely avoid damage; he pushed against Daniel, causing Daniel to cut a fresh, glowing wound on his chest. Balthazar gritted his teeth and tried to use his flexibility to subdue Daniel again, but this time Daniel ducked and crashed into his open wound. Balthazar hissed and stumbled. Daniel hooked his wing beneath him and flipped him onto his back. Balthazar groaned as Daniel pressed his face into the ground, the claws on his feet digging into his skull and making it impossible for Balthazar to wrinkle his way free.

"Daniel!" Castiel cried, bristling and completely helpless. "Stop it, Daniel, you're going to kill him!"

Then a third Seraphim stepped between them.

It was Uriel, the Mountain; though that name fit him now more than it ever had done before. He smashed his way towards them, gripped Daniel's shoulders and threw him into the wall so hard it cracked down the middle like a thunderbolt. A second later it was healed.

Daniel spun round to face them. Two against one now. Castiel's throat went stiff. It was exhilarating, seeing his friends at their most powerful, but he couldn't help but feel isolated. It was as though he wasn't really in the room with them, but he was watching them from afar, unable to speak, touch, or fight with them. That made everything that happened a hundred times worse.

"I thought better of you, Daniel, what with your performance during the rite of passage." Uriel said, his voice loud and unwavering in the silence that stretched between them, "This is no way for a solider of God to act."

"I'm acting _exactly _how I should!" Daniel hissed, "I'm disposing of a threat."

_A threat? _Castiel lowered his head. How was he a threat? Because he went to the planet? Because he failed the rite of passage? Maybe they saw him as the runt of the litter. Or...maybe it was something simpler than that. Maybe it was simply because he left heaven and somehow returned and now they thought he'd contaminated heaven, or worse, their Father's creations. Castiel couldn't bare the thought of hurting his family and for a moment all he could think was _I shouldn't have come back._

"Perhaps I should summon Raguel or his garrison?" Uriel said calmly. "You know how he hates to settle petty vendettas. Is _that_ fitting of a soldier?"

Daniel growled quietly. He still had intent in his eyes, but he knew not to try and fight against both Uriel and Balthazar just to get to Castiel. "You agree with me though. I know you do. I can see it in your eyes." He said at last, "Everyone who failed died. He should have too!"

Then he was gone.

Castiel tried his best to contain his jealously and embarrassment as Balthazar and Uriel shrank back down to his size. Balthazar blew on his hands to heal his wounds, cringing in agony as he did so, and then wiped a hand along the cut on his chest to heal that also.

"Now tell me what's going on, you two." Uriel said firmly.

"Oh put it away, Uriel!" Balthazar snapped. He was flushed from the fight, looking at the place where Daniel had been stood with guilty eyes. But soon his eyes moved to where his hand was resting on Castiel's stiff shoulder, and the guilty look disappeared. "We'll tell you what happened, but maybe somewhere else? I need to sit down for a bit anyway."

Uriel's eyes narrowed, but he nodded.

"Good." Balthazar's hand slid away. "I know a place. It's this way." He jerked his thumb over at the wall. Uriel glanced at Castiel, who kept his furrowed brow fixed firmly on the floor, and then followed Balthazar, Castiel moving behind. At the wall, Balthazar pressed his palm against it and suddenly the wall dissolved at his touch, revealing a chamber within. He stepped inside and his friends followed.

"What is this place?" Castiel whispered. It was dark, unlike most of the heaven he was used to, and something about it felt forbidden. The walls were carved from stone, with scratches from off-fired arrows.

"Tunnel system used by the Cherubim."

"I've never heard of it." grunted Uriel.

"Most haven't." Balthazar replied, "A certain Cupid owed me a certain favour, so he talked to his team and they let me use the tunnels whenever I have to. This way!"

He turned suddenly to the right and dropped as the floor dipped sharply down a steep and rocky slope, going deeper into the darkness and lower into the secret tunnels. Compared to the rest of the tunnel, this part looked unfinished. "Built it myself." Balthazar said when Castiel asked him about it. "Needs a little work, but it does the job."

Uriel looked uncomfortable. "This place feels wrong...Why would you do this?"

"An angel needs his space."

They stopped at another dead end and Balthazar pressed his palm against the wall again and the wall disappeared. Beyond it, there was small room. It was dimly lit with diamonds. They were whispering and Castiel looked at them with fascination and then glanced round the room and smiled. It was a collection of everything Balthazar had 'found' - there was even the flask of that strange liquid Balthazar showed him the day they met. Castiel looked at Balthazar, who smirked, arms crossed over his chest and leaning back lazily against the far wall.

"You have a secret room that no one in heaven knows about?"

Balthazar winked. "I'd appreciate it if it stayed that way."

"I'm not sure if I approve of this other life of yours." Uriel muttered, folding his arms. "But it'll do. Now, tell me what's going on. I assume this has something to do with Castiel's de- ...fall?" he quickly caught himself on the last word, but Castiel already knew what he was about to say.

Balthazar chuckled. "Yeah. Simply put: He's alive, not dead like everyone else is. I imagine some folks are jealous."

Castiel glared at him. "The deaths of our brothers and sisters are not something to make jokes out of! How many died?"

"Sixty-six – not including you."

"Maybe some survived like I did."

Uriel turned to him. "How _did _you survive?"

"Which leads to our problem." Balthazar cut in before Castiel could get a word in. "He didn't fall into the Void. He passed through the Divide and into one of the six realms."

Uriel's eyes went wide. "You did _what?_"

Castiel grumbled. "It's good to know my survival meant something to you."

"Of course it means something. We thought we lost you." Uriel graced him with a warm smile before his frown returned, "But the six planes they're – well we've never been allowed to go near them, not until the time is right. I don't know what happens if one of us does. How did you find you way back?"

"Looked for the stars." Castiel said, "I…I needed to land, though."

"You were on one of the planets?" Uriel said, alarm increasing in his voice. Castiel winced. Would he have to go through this experience with every angel who asked? He remembered the angel and Gabriel arguing about him, about tests, equipment, and other things he didn't understand. He never thought he'd associate his friends with what was quickly becoming the most horrible experience of his young life. "Which one?" Uriel was saying, "Do you know?"

Castiel was about to answer truthfully when Balthazar beat him to it. "Just a lifeless rock. Nothing to worry about."

Uriel raised an eyebrow at him. "You're sure?"

"Positive. Cas, come here, we need to talk."

An arm around his shoulder turned him away and pulled him close. Balthazar's face was drawn tight were it sat next to his. Castiel whispered, "We're not telling him?"

"It's bad enough already. No one needs to know about Gallifrey."

"He was on _Gallifrey?_!" Uriel demanded, suddenly in front of them.

Balthazar pursed his lips, "Do you have to do that?"

"What's wrong with Gallifrey?" Castiel demanded.

Uriel stared at him like he blasphemed. For all Castiel knew, he probably did.

"Why can't you tell me?"

"You should already know." Uriel told him. "They've told us. Our first lesson."

"Come on. This is Cas! He was dreaming about seeing those damn stars of his."

"Hey!"

"Well, you _should _know, that out of all the planets and creations our Father has ever or ever will create, Gallifrey and the Time Lords are the ones we must not go near. Our Father and Death forbade it long ago."

"Why is it forbidden? They didn't seem so bad."

"You _spoke _to them?!"

"I…no." Castiel stuttered, "I meant the planet."

Uriel chuckled, "You're such a terrible liar."

Castiel swallowed, "They were just children, like me! And you wouldn't believe it but they knew telepathy like us, and I think they have the Grace inside them. One of them had a cut that was slowly healing while we talked. They must have healing abilities of some kind. I'm telling you, they're just like angels, so why is it forbidden?"

"Did they see you?"

It was Balthazar who asked this question.

"I was hidden so I don't think so."

"Good, we can work with that."

Uriel turned sharply from Castiel – much to his relief – to Balthazar. "Work with that?!" he repeated incredulously, "We can't actually _hide_ this!"

"Damn straight we are!"

"Stop swearing." Uriel's voice was getting lower the angrier he got. "You think no one will find out sooner or later? Castiel has already been attacked! How long do you think it'll be before others come?"

"So, what then?" Balthazar snapped, "We just hand him over to Raguel and say 'Hey, Raggie, Castiel here has just committed one of the biggest crimes of our time. Go easy on him, will ya?' _Please!_ If anyone finds out about this, Cas is dead. For_ real_ this time."

"Then I suggest you stop shouting about it!"

"Am I allow to…?"

"NO!" Uriel and Balthazar yelled simultaneously and Castiel shook his head in frustration. He couldn't bare any more of this! Growling, he spread out his wings, pictured the mountain inside his head, and in the next moment all was quiet and Castiel was on top of the Pinnacle, the place he had sought comfort for thousands of years.

_I shouldn't have come back. _No. Castiel pushed away the thought. This was heaven, his home, his family, his friends - he couldn't have stayed away even if he wanted to. He'd always wanted to find his place amongst his brothers and now...maybe his place was already decided, maybe... _Maybe I should have just fallen into the Void and died like I was supposed to. _Indeed, that would have had more honour, on par with the universal law 'die trying.' Sometimes, these things were just meant to be - Castiel scowled at the thought. So the way his brothers and sisters always always looked at him, the way he was driven to try harder, all of that was only building to his failure? That was meant to happen?

Castiel was at a loss. He was so confused he didn't know what to do with himself. He'd always done as he was told - more or less, anyway. In his classes, he was told to train and he did. In the rite of passage, he was told to perform and he did. Afterwards, he was supposed to take on his role, and he would have, only now he has no role. He's without purpose. He felt hollow inside. What was he supposed to do now? What do you do when you fail? Do you try again? What if the opportunity ever comes round again? Do you find something else and forget about it?

Sighing, Castiel looked down at the stars. One good thing about all this: he'd finally been with them. He'd watched them for so long that for that moment it didn't matter what had happened because he'd finally gotten a taste for what it was like. Part of him, slowly growing in size with his sorrow, just wanted to go back.

"Just can't let it go, can you?" came Balthazar's voice with a fluttering of wings behind it as the angel appeared beside Castiel.

"Leave me alone, Balthazar."

"So you can get attacked again?" Balthazar scoffed, "It'll happen. You know what our older brothers and sisters are like."

"I just want to be left alone."

"Good luck with that. I don't think anyone will leave you alone after today. But hey – you always wanted to be noticed, right?"

Castiel spun round and glared at him. "That isn't funny!"

Balthazar paused, lips pursed. "…I know."

Castiel glanced away. Down below, there was a greenish shape like a cloud, tiny from heaven, sparkling with red and purple, like dust. Castiel pointed it out to Balthazar.

"Pretty." the other angel mused with disinterest.

"That's where Gallifrey is."

"Cas, they're just stars! Little twinkly bits."

"It's there." Castiel insisted, "I know it is."

Balthazar sighed. "Castiel." he said, "Don't get me wrong. Everything aside, I really am tremendously pleased you're okay and I want you to stay that way. Yes, that little piece of rock down there saved your life, but it'll drag you down if you let it bother you like this."

Castiel didn't take his eyes of the dust cloud. "I don't even understand how I got there."

Balthazar pressed his lips together. "I didn't tell you this." he said firmly. "But the Divide is what connects the six planes together. It's like a bridge. A bad bridge. With holes. If you didn't fall straight through, you must have crossed it. ...Huh. Thinking about it now, I guess the others could have survived too, but for some reason they never came back. I guess that makes them deserters. They're the true Fallen Angels. Don't go making yourself one of them."

"Am I really the only one to ever come back?"

"If there was someone else, they kept it pretty shushed up."

"Why is it forbidden? I don't understand."

"Because it is. That's all there is to it."

"Why do you care?" Castiel demanded suddenly. "You've never obeyed the rules. I know you stole all those things you showed me."

"It's not stealing if it's still in heaven! Plus, when I do it, it's fine. When you do it, it's worrying." Balthazar paused. His mouth curled into a snarl and then: "I don't care if it's forbidden or why – I don't want you to go back! You barely made it back last time, what makes you think you could a second time?"

"I wasn't going to –" he stopped mid-sentence and blinked, "You think I couldn't?"

Balthazar scoffed. "Don't throw a tantrum, I'm trying to help you. In case you hadn't noticed, you're still a Fledgling – you can barely sustain your wings, or did you forget what happened during the rite of passage?"

Castiel flushed.

Balthazar knew he'd upset Castiel by saying that but protecting his friend's feelings wasn't his priority. He knew how irrational Castiel could be. Castiel had never been one for accepting a situation he didn't like, and while neither was he, he knew when to steer clear of conflict, when to duck down and hide, and when to fight. Castiel's questions will have consequences – consequences Balthazar only had a fraction of an idea about. Fledglings were usually kept in the dark about the harsher punishments, but as a low-ranking Seraphim, Balthazar knew a little more now. Castiel was trying to unearth something from the past, something the Creator had long buried, and for whatever reason Balthazar didn't care – why poke a grizzly bear? – this was one of those conflicts best avoided because, from Balthazar had learned from his new rank, if any place anywhere had a history needing to remain hidden, then heaven was the worst of them all.

Yet Balthazar didn't know that his comment had thrown Castiel into a mess of emotions. He was shaking inside like he was going to burst. All of it was too much. The accusations, the questions, the stares, the Seraphim, the Archangel, and the fact that the Fledglings he'd grown up with were either dead or exceeded beyond him – _and he just didn't understand – _and Balthazar... It was all building up inside him like he was going to explode. How had things become so bad so quickly?

"Look." Balthazar breathed out steadily, forcing his voice to soften. "It's no big deal. We'll wait until this whole thing blows over with the authorities and then we'll see about you getting re-assessed. Hey, I could even put a good word in for you. What do you say?"

_"What makes you think you could a second time?"_

"Castiel?"

Certainly, the idea was a bad one. There was no doubt about that. Yet, that ever-growing pit of sorrow and jealously was urging the idea, so much so that the events leading to those feelings were completely forgotten. The feelings were just there as if they always had been and they were controlling him. They wanted him to do this and the consequences were not considered nor cared about.

"Okay, you're scaring me a little. Wh-where are you going?"

Castiel walked past him. He'd need to run to get a good set off.

"You're not listening to word I'm saying, are you? Why do you have to be so over-confident, stupid little…CAS! What _are you doing?!"_

He was running. Balthazar moved to stop him, but Castiel leapt aside. It put him off a little and he stumbled, but he managed to straighten up and spread out his wings just as the ground disappeared beneath him.

"Cas, NO!"

Castiel was falling again - no, he was flying; he knew exactly where he was going.

* * *

**References: **We've got a couple new descriptions for angel-forms in this chapter so here we go…

**Balthazar:** Silver - industrial, sleek, modern, as well as ornate, glamorous, graceful, sophisticated. A precious metal that often symbolizes riches and wealth. Yellow – typically represents happiness, but can also represent deceit, corruption and cowardice. Wolf – social, loyal, cunning, compassionate in some cases, and friendly. It was also supposed to indicate how Balthazar goes lone wolf after leaving heaven, and yet is still loyal to Castiel.

**Uriel: **Indigo - structure/the need for order, dual perspective, both positive and negative colour. Purple - riches, dignity, energy. Lion - dignity, strength. Ram - the horns are a symbol of power and are similar to the traditional image of the devil with his horns, referencing Uriel's loyalty to Lucifer. His form was mostly about trying to convey his arrogance and strength, but also his insecurity (_"there is no wrath, no fury, no God."_) his reliance on order, and his admiration for the superior angels (_"you remember how strong [Lucifer] was.")_

**Anna/Anael: **Red - passion, love, energy, leadership, longing, lust, determination, radiance. (I might include her true form later depending on how the story goes.)

'**Mystery' angel: **Cat - depicted as Gods; they are clever, selective, mysterious, watchful. Blacks cats are a symbol of bad luck and witchcraft. Indigo - structure/the need for order, dual perspective, both positive and negative colour.

**Daniel: **Black and white – traditional symbols for mourning.


	5. We, The Outcasts

**Disclaimer: **My story, not my characters.

* * *

**Five**

**We, the Outcasts**

"I have a question." Haley said suddenly, interrupting me. I hadn't been talking long, but still it was longer than I should have been, sitting between realms like this, off schedule, possibly in danger. I was anxious to reach the story's conclusion. When I looked at her, there must have been some annoyance in my expression because she straightened her back immediately. It took me a moment to realise she was trying to imitate how I sat. I wasn't quite sure how to react to that, though it did make something inside of me swell.

"Go on." I prompted, after a moment of silence.

"Is this a true story?"

"All stories are true, in their own way."

She blinked, confused. "...Oh."

Satisfied by her silence, I opened my mouth to continue where I left off…

"Then how do you know?" Haley interrupted again.

"How do I know _what?_"

She flinched, yet clenched her fists and carried on. "How do you know what Castiel thinks? Unless you're Castiel, but you're not so how do you know what someone who's not you thinks? I'm not you, and I don't know what you think."

I hadn't expected her ask that. She was slightly more clever than I gave her credit for. Still, she was human and susceptible to extreme arrogance that shouldn't belong to such a protozoa, so I kept my surprise to myself and fought down the tingling pride I felt within me. Such feelings were unacceptable, and would have to be reviewed later, once I got Haley safely to heaven.

"I am omniscient." I told her.

She blinked again. "Omni…omni-scent? Can I be omniscent too?"

"Fortunately not. You see, when a person dies, either my reapers or myself have to collect the soul and deliver it to its final resting place. If I collect the soul, I am then able to see every factor, every tiny moment or feeling, that lead to this person's death. Sometimes I am able to see the lives of other people around them, depending on the circumstances. It's often difficult to decipher one's memories from another's, so I created Walls in the mind to hold foreign memories back. But you cannot do this."

A thought just occurred to me: I have long since held these memories back because they are not my own. What will be the consequences of embracing them?

I looked at Haley. She was scowling, clearly uncomprehending of anything I just said. She was rubbing her arms as well, looking confused and frightened.

Concerned, I asked, "Are you feeling all right?"

She shuddered, a puff of fog escaping her lips. "I'm cold."

How odd. Ghosts don't usually feel the cold; they are the bringers of it. This wasn't the first strange thing I had noticed about Haley and I pondered why she was so different to the other souls I had collected. I was so busy thinking about this that I didn't notice her crawling towards me until she was already on my lap. I cringed, but didn't push her away. "What in heaven are you doing?!"

"I'm _cold!"_

I winced as she clambered over me until, finally, she sat cross-legged on my lap and I pulled my cloak around her. "Better?"

She nodded.

"Now." I sighed, "May I continue?"

"Yes please."

* * *

Theta lay in the dark, under his bed in the Provision House. Normally, he'd be scared, but there was a light on in the hall, casting a orange companion by his side. It was oddly soothing. He hugged his pillow to his chest and sighed. Downstairs, he knew the other boys were waiting for him, waiting to leave for the Initiation. He hoped that if he hid here long enough, they'd leave without him.

The floorboards creaked and the light was momentarily blocked out as someone came into the room. Koschei's face appeared next to the bed. "Permission to enter your time vessel, Captain Sigma?" he said, grinning.

Theta shuffled up to make room for him as Koschei slid under the bed to lie next to him. "I thought you wanted to be captain."

"I did. But then I thought about it and decided I should be navigator 'cause when you think about it they're the ones who get all the control. Now, hurry up, where are heading?"

Theta paused. "...The future." he said.

Koschei tapped the wooden panels above his head, making complimentary 'bleeps'. "The future's a good choice. I don't think they'll find us there."

"Are you hiding from Ra'an?"

"Yep. And Akhar. And Torvic. They're all at the detention already. It's a five hour detention! Can you believe that? That's just ridiculous. And I bet if I try to sleep through it, they'll throw books at me like when we fell asleep during morning lectures, remember?"

Theta rubbed his head, remembering the bruise. "Yes."

"Didn't get much sleep in that barn did you? Maybe…" he began tapping the panels of the bed again, "We could go back in time to last night and catch up on sleep…or go star gazing and sleep later. We can go back as many times as we want, we Time Lords."

Theta flinched. "Right…"

"What's wrong?"

He hesitated. "…I don't know if I can be a Time Lord, Kos. What if… what if I'm not meant for that?"

Koschei scowled, not hiding the bitter anger and confusion from his voice. "What are you talking about? Don't you want to be a Time Lord any more? You said yesterday you did."

Theta shrugged, not looking at his friend. "I was just thinking maybe I should join the army."

"The army?" Koschei repeated with disbelief. "Aren't you the one always telling me 'Violence will never get you anywhere'? Besides, you couldn't hurt anyone, let alone kill someone!"

"I could kill bad people…I guess. If I knew they were really bad, down to the core."

"No, you couldn't." Koschei narrowed his eyes at him. "Anyway, you don't really want to join the army, do you?"

Theta shook his head. "No."

"Somebody said something. Was it Torvic? No, it couldn't have been. He was with Akhar all night and all day. Was it Ra'an? He's always saying mean things. This one time…"

The floorboards creaked. The boys went silent.

The lights switched on. "Koschei! Theta Sigma!" It was Taluma. She passed by the bedroom, spotting Koschei's leg before he could duck it away. "You boys! Honestly! Why do you have to cause so much trouble? If you were in the Academy, the professors certainly wouldn't stand for his childish behaviour. Come on, now. Out you come."

They obeyed and crawled out from under the bed. Theta had the decency to look ashamed. Koschei just scoffed, rolling his neck. Taluma hustled them from the room and down the stairs. She sent Theta towards the main the door, reminding him gently not to forget his coat, and escorted Koschei down the corridor in the opposite direction.

Koschei turned once and called, "Meet me in the barn after!" and Theta nodded before leaving, joining the other boys outside.

"You'll do no such thing." Taluma said, sternly.

Koschei scowled at her. "I only put up with you because Theta likes you, but you're horrible!"

Taluma pursed her lips.

They walked the rest of the way in silence until, upon arriving at a room on the far side of the building, which faced the forest where Theta and Koschei met Castiel, Koschei turned to Taluma and said a loud and honest. "Sorry."

Taluma smiled. "Apology accepted."

Koschei went into the room, where Ra'an, Akhar and Torvic were waiting. Torvic was sat near the window, and the two tutors stood leaning against the desk at the front of the room. Akhar had his arms folded. Ra'an saw him enter and pointedly gestured to a seat. Koschei sat down, glaring at Torvic as he went. Torvic was staring at the wall and scowling. Under the desk, he was thumbing the switch knife. Koschei wanted to punch something. Why did the grown-ups let him keep that? It wasn't fair.

"He arrives _at last_." Akhar said. Koschei gritted his teeth. "Well, boys, you know how this works. Five hours with nothing but the clock to entertain you. Though, I suppose, if you made friends you could pass the time talking, otherwise..."

"I don't want to be friends with him!" Torvic declared.

"Right back at you, _peasant!_"

"_Otherwise _stay quiet!" Akhar said, his voice raised above theirs and silencing them. "I know you boys don't like each other but, believe it or not, it's not difficult for you to leave each other alone. You're going to the Academy soon - and it's a big Academy - you don't have to even _look_ at each other." he looked at Torvic. "Torvic, remember our conversation. Let's just get past all this." he looked away, addressing both of them again. "Now, I'm going to leave you with Ra'an for the first half of the detention. I will return with your food and watch you for the second half. Afterwards, you will be escorted back to your rooms and you won't be allowed to leave until the rest of the boys return from the Initiation. Is that understood?"

A couple of grumbles from the boys. Akhar bowed to Ra'an and marched out.

"I'm bored already." Koschei said.

"I can always fight you." Torvic said.

"Be quiet, Torvic." Ra'an said, opening up a book, and Koschei flashed a triumphant grin.

* * *

Koschei woke up when his head slammed against the desk.

Torvic burst into hysterics.

"Serves you right." Ra'an said.

Koschei groaned and rubbed his forehead. "How long left?"

"Three hours."

This time, both Torvic and Koschei hit their heads on purpose.

* * *

"Torvic, stop carving shapes into the table or I will take that knife off you."

Surprisingly, Torvic did as he was told.

* * *

"Can you at least read to us?"

"No."

Torvic swung back on his chair. "Is that because it's a dirty story?"

"Stop swinging on your chair."

Koschei's lip curled. "Avoiding the subject! It _is_ a dirty story!"

Torvic tutted. "Oh, sir, you shouldn't have that near children! What will people think?"

'What will the ladies think?"

"He won't impress anyone with that - or will he?"

"Oh, I don't know..." Koschei titled his head. "I'll ask Taluma."

Ra'an slammed the book closed. He was red in the face and the boys laughed. "RIGHT! You two are..."

Akhar walked in.

"Oh thank Rassilon!" Ra'an hissed, and was gone.

* * *

The detention passed fairly quickly after that - though Koschei couldn't be sure whether he dozed off or not. Torvic spent the last two hours drawing shapes on the roof by reflecting light with his knife, occasionally glancing at Koschei. Koschei just looked out the window. Afterwards, they were escorted separately to their rooms, not once speaking a word to each other.

In his room, Koschei lay on his bed for a while and then, feeling agitated, got up and decided that he would sneak out to the forest for a few hours, before Theta and the other boys got back. It would be easy. The Provision House was almost empty: Taluma, Akhar, Ra'an and the cooks Sen and Frey, were the only adults in the building and, other than Torvic, he was the only child.

Koschei pushed himself out of bed and slipped out the door. He glanced both ways down the corridor before moving. On the way out, he heard Taluma, Torvic and Akhar talking in one of the rooms, but he didn't stop. He only managed to get fragments of their conversation:

"Sweetie, you have to take them..."

"I don't _want_ to take them!"

"Torvic, we've been through this once, we've been through this a thousand times, you can't just..."

Koschei was around the corner and out the door a moment later.

* * *

Angels were the fastest flying creatures the in universe. It often seemed like they simply disappeared from one place and reappeared in another. Therefore, travelling a few thousand-billion light years was barely an hour's journey for an angel, even shorter when they knew exactly where they were going, and in no time at all, Castiel was on the surface of Gallifrey, back in the exact place he was a day earlier.

He slumped onto the grass with a sigh and waited for his tiredness to subside. He closed his eyes and let the sounds of the forest calm him down. Caws. Tittering. A quiet crackle as the wind slowly brushed through the trees. And soon, shuffling. Castiel's eyes flew open, chest lurching. The shuffling grew closer. He stood.

Koschei stepped out from behind the trees and saw Castiel. They both screamed, jumping away from each other. Koschei grabbed the nearest rock and lifted it above his head. Their eyes met, large blue glowing ones to green ones, and the two of them didn't dare move. They stood frozen. Koschei was breathing hard. Castiel stayed as still as possible. The wind picked up the silver leaves scattered on the forest floor and the orange sunlight burst out from behind the clouds and shone on Castiel's face. Silver leaves flew around them and the grass flexed. The two of them were completely dazzled by the other's existence. At last, as the sunlight shone in Castiel's eyes, the angel squinted and glanced down, breaking the trance.

Letting out a long breath, Koschei watched the strange glowing creature, edging slowly from the shadows towards him. He was still holding the rock, but it was posed by his side, almost forgotten. He tried to see behind Castiel – hadn't there been wings before?

He stepped on a twig, snapping it with a noticeable crack, and Castiel glanced back up at him, blinking rapidly. They both froze again, realising how close they were to each other now. Subconsciously, Koschei raised the hand holding the rock and Castiel, instantly sensing the danger, unfurled his wings to make himself look bigger. But this was what Koschei wanted to see and, amazed, he grinned and lowered the rock again. Castiel wondered if he should hide, but then the boy, with a determined scowl, spoke to him.

"You came back." he paused. "It's you, isn't it? Castiel? That angel-of-the-lord?"

Castiel swallowed. "Y-yes." he stammered. Then, remembering they didn't speak the same language, but both were telepathic, he repeated himself in his head and projected it to the boy.

Koschei swallowed and licked his lips. "What are you doing out here?"

His wings drooped. _"I…I did something...bad."_

Koschei hummed. "Me too."

Castiel was surprised, but for some reason it made him feel better.

Koschei shrugged and dropped the rock into the grass. Castiel allowed his wings to melt back into his humanoid form. They didn't move any closer to each other.

A moment of silence passed. The two of them merely observed each other, like you would an animal you didn't wish to frighten.

"So...How come you don't talk?"

"_Well.._._I haven't been taught your tongue, but all minds speak the same language. ...It's strange; I've been taught almost all languages. Just not yours." _It must have been another thing about Time Lords that angels were forbidden to know.

"So you're telepathic..." he said, rubbing his lip, "Can you heal yourself?"

Castiel cocked his head. _"Yes."_

"Can you... travel in time?"

_"Well, I haven't learnt this skill yet, but yes, angels can travel through time." _Castiel knew for a fact that the archangels could do it. Time is fluid, like a river. It's only a matter of controlling the current.

"And..." Koschei was very close now. If he wanted, he could reach out and grab the angel. Castiel saw this, and did his best not to look intimidated. "Can you change your appearance?"

_"Why all the questions?"_

"I like knowing things. So can you?"

_"Yes. Angels have true forms, and lesser forms, and some of us have vessels, which make us look very different." _Castiel paused, thinking about what he knew about Time Lords so far. _"You can do these things too, can't you?"_

"Sort of."

Castiel squinted at the boy. _"So...we're the same?" _he asked, confused and delighted at the idea. He wasn't quite sure how to feel towards the boy, given recent events.

"That means we can be friends!" Koschei said. Then added, "Oh, well, I mean if you want to. I've ever been friends with such a funny looking thing before. Well, Theta's funny looking sometimes!" he laughed at his own joke.

_"Theta? Oh! You mean the other boy, don't you?"_

"Yeah. I call him Theta. He won't mind if you call him it too. Can I touch your wings?"

_"I suppose..." _Castiel unfurled his right wing and reached it out to the boy. _"So, the boy's name isn't Theta?"_

"Of course not." Koschei mumbled, eyeing the feathers made of light. He reached out cautiously and touched one with his finger. Castiel flinched, surprised at the feeling. No one had ever touched his wings before. "It's soft. Like a pillow."

_"If the boy's name isn't Theta, then what is it?"_

Koschei jerked back his hand and clasped it to his mouth, his face red.

Castiel was startled. _"What is it? Are you hurt? I'm sorry. I've been told that some creations are sensitive to the Grace but I thought..."_

Koschei's hand fell from his mouth and Castiel heard him laughing. He blinked.

_"You're laughing? Is something funny?"_

"You're rude!" Koschei accused, pointing a finger right into Castiel's face before curling up with laughter. "I like you more and more!"

_"I'm confused."_

"You're not supposed to just ask someone's true name like that! It's weird! You really are from another planet if you don't know that! Or maybe you're from up north. I hear they don't mind so much. Are you from up north, Castiel?"

Castiel cocked his head. _"I'm very confused. If you're not suppose to ask for names, then how am I supposed to know what to call you?"_

"You ask 'what should I call you?' Duh!"

_"I guess that makes sense. But why not true names?"_

Koschei shrugged. "Maybe because they're hard to say? My birth name is over sixteen syllables long." He said. Castiel noticed that he seemed to say everything like it was a competition.

Castiel smiled, _"Mine is over twenty. Although we don't usually change our names; we shorten ours. ...so, may I call you Koschei?"_

"Of course you can." Koschei giggled again, still at Castiel's rudeness. "Come on, Castiel. You have to meet Theta! I told him to meet me in the barn once he got back, so we can just wait there for him. He'll love you. He loves nature and aliens and things like that."

Koschei wandered back into the trees and, after some hesitation, Castiel followed, both curious and mystified.

It was getting dark. A shadow hung above the land, leaving a streak of orange against the horizon. The stars were visible, but Castiel chose not to look at them.

The hill sloped down and the trees became further and further apart until they ended completely and Castiel spotted a barn on the bottom of the hill. He hesitated a moment before he stepped from the woods and looked across the landscape. Beyond the hill and barn, the land was flat, covered in grass, and stretched for miles until it reached another row of jagged hills. There was another building in the distance, just below the other hills. Next to it, Castiel could just make out a tree and beneath it, a man. Castiel tensed, but relaxed when he realised there was no way the man could see him.

_"There's a man over there."_

Koschei looked where Castiel was looking. "Oh yeah him. He's a hermit. He's always been there, so everyone ignores him. Come on, Castiel, it's this way."

_"What's that other building? The one next to the hermit."_

"That's Provision House 5. Me and Theta live there now. It's rubbish. We used to live in the Citadel. That's back the way we came."

They continued their decent. Castiel looked at the opposite side of the the land. It was flat there also and dropped suddenly down a steep cliff. _"What's that way?" _he asked.

Koschei reached the barn and unlatched the door. "Um...I think there's a village around there somewhere. That's where the peasants live. They don't live in the Citadel because they're poor. Come on in."

Castiel stepped into the barn. Koschei bolted the door shut behind them.

The barn was warm. There was a layer of dry hay and soil on the floor and a musky smell in the air. Light filtered through the rafters in the roof and reflected off a collection off mirrors leaning against the corner. Scattered around the barn where strange things Castiel had never seen before: metal contraptions that were broken down and rusting. In the hayloft, a ladder lead up to a small bed made from two over turned troughs and a wooden plank. Despite this, it looked comfortable: There was a thick mattress and a blanket and pillow, neatly made up.

Castiel cocked his head. _"Who lives here?"_

Koschei laughed. "No one! It's a _barn. _You know. For animals. Don't you have animals where you come from?"

_"Um...no."_

"Really? No cobblemice or fledershrew? What if you want a pet? What if you want to _eat_?"

_"We don't have pets." _Castiel replied, not even sure what a 'pet' was. _"And we don't eat. I mean, we can. But we don't have to. Same with sleep and most other things creations do."_

"Oh. That's strange."

Castiel frowned. _"It's not really that strange."_

Suddenly the barn door unlatched and another boy walked in. Theta froze when he saw Castiel.

"Theta!" Koschei ran and yanked his friend into a tight hug. "How was it? Did you pass? Was it hard? Where academy professors there?"

Theta just stared at Castiel the whole time. "Um...it was...yes..."

"...'Yes'?" Koschei repeated, frowning, and saw that Theta was staring at Castiel. He thought about this a moment, then grinned, pulling Theta closer to him and bringing him closer to the angel. "Oh Theta, it's Castiel. He's back. Come on. Say hello."

_"...Hello."_

"Uh..."

Koschei bit his lip. "Wait for it."

Castiel stared.

Theta grinned suddenly. "You're really beautiful!"

"There it is."

"Huh? What?"

"Nothing. You carry on. Ooh! Theta, touch his wings! They're really soft!"

Theta looked at Castiel. "May I? It's not rude or anything is it?"

Castiel shook his head, stretching his wing towards Theta. He didn't understand why the boys liked his wings so much, but it felt good to be admired. Theta just looked at the wing at first. Then the boy reached forwards eagerly, but with surprisingly gentle fingers, clasped a handful of feathers. Castiel shivered.

"Am I hurting you?" Theta asked.

_"No. It's just that we don't usually touch each others wings. I'm not used to it."_ He saw the panic in Theta's face and quickly added,_ "There's nothing wrong with it, we just don't do it."_

Theta relaxed. "I guess its because you all have wings. I mean, I wouldn't be fascinated by Koschei's arm because we all have arms, but there's nothing wrong with touching it." To demonstrate, he gave his friend a gentle push. Koschei just smiled.

Castiel smiled too. _"I see. You're right. That does make sense."_

Theta let go of his wing. "You're amazing."

Castiel's chest filled with warmth. He raised his head and stretched out his wings above him like glowing fans. He revelled in the boy's exchanged looks of awe.

"Fly!" Koschei commanded. "Come on, show us!"

Castiel did. He lifted into the air with a powerful gust that threw the boys off their feet and onto the hay. It hurt but they just laughed, tipping their heads back and watching Castiel fly in circles above them. The barn was a little cramped - every time Castiel whirled past he sent a gale that blew back the boy's hair and left them breathless.

Then he sucked in his wings and transformed into a ray of light. After a moment of free-falling, he formed his wings again and burst back up. Then again, he swooped back down. He re-enacted that moment in his rite of passage when it all went wrong. It was on that second swoop, barely minutes into his performance, when he'd slipped up and fallen. This time, he did not.

This time, the audience cheered.

Koschei had grabbed Theta's arm and was shaking it. "See look! He changed his shape! I told you he's like us."

Theta just gawked.

Castiel chuckled. He flew up into the rafters and wove in between them, careful not to touch one. Eventually, he flew into the centre of the roof and flattened his spread wings like paper, so he drifted to the ground. He bowed his head. He curled in his wings and tucked them away. He felt a smile tug at his lips. Stood there, performance finished - that was the way he'd always pictured it.

Then something knocked him sideways.

He fell onto his back with a grunt. Koschei had pounced. "Haha!" he cried. "Got you!"

Castiel blinked, and Theta pounced too. "You were brilliant, Castiel! That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen!"

After that, it was almost as if he was part of another world, and yet like it was a world he'd always been part of. The boys began to pretend that they were imprisoned and planning a rebellion against something called 'Torvicans.' It reminded Castiel of when angel pretended to fight, but it was just for practise. When he asked Theta what they were practising for, Theta had laughed and said they were playing. Angels didn't play - what would be the point? - but Castiel enjoyed it. Especially when Koschei said that Castiel was the strong and powerful one who'd help them win.

When the games became tiring, they perched on the bed in the hayloft and opened the small doors traditionally used for transfer hay. A wisp of cold air breezed in. The night sky was clear and the stars were bright.

"It's late." Theta whispered.

Koschei sighed. "Yeah.

"Taluma will come look for us soon. We should go. Castiel?"

Castiel was scowling at the stars. He slammed the doors shut, making the boys jump, and stood. He stretched his wings.

"Are you leaving now?" Theta asked, standing too. "You don't have to."

_"Well I..." _he stopped.

This idea, I must say, was a bad one, though not quite as ill-conceived as that which brought him to this moment in the first place. But when Castiel thought of heaven, all he could think about was how horrific it had become to him. No. He didn't want to return there. He didn't even want to think of that festering place. But he did want to know _why;_ why had things gone the way they had? Why were Time Lords and angels forbidden to meet? What was the purpose?

Do I know? But of course. I was there when the law was made.

Perhaps, Castiel thought, if he stayed here he could find out the truth. He could judge the Time Lords for himself.

_"I have decided to stay a while." _he told the boys,_ "I want to learn more about your world and its people. Though...I don't have anywhere to stay..."_

"You can stay here!" Theta cried.

"Yes!" Koschei said, jumping up. He turned to gallop towards the barn doors. "That's a great idea! I can't wait to see everyone's faces when I tell them we have an alien in the barn!"

Castiel panicked. He couldn't let other Time Lords know about him. If heaven reacted badly to Time Lords, how would Gallifrey react to angels? These boys were young and did not know him, but there was a chance the older ones would. Would they attack him too? Besides, his presence may disturb the planet and heaven would surely notice and punish him for good.

"_You__ must keep me a secret!"_

Koschei stopped and moaned. "Aww, why? The only reason we didn't say anything before because the Chancellery Guard caught us and the tutors wouldn't stop yelling, then everyone was asleep, then Torvic started..."

_"Please! You must. What can I do to convince you?"_

Theta and Koschei looked at each other. Koschei chewed his lip. Theta raised an eyebrow at him.

"If you're worried, I'll keep you secret." Theta said, "No questions."

Castiel smiled gratefully at him.

Koschei rolled his eyes. "Well, all right then. I'll keep quiet too. Sheesh."

* * *

In heaven, there is a place where the angels can train alone. It looks like a large empty field when you first enter it, but when one begins to train, the landscape changes to meet the trainee's temperament and mood. Balthazar was there now and the landscape was rough and jarred. The air was hot and wet. There were mountains and burnt trees, and every now and again, something that looked a little too much like Castiel would swoop down from the sky and attack him. Balthazar stood in the centre of it all, holding a sword he'd made himself, tense and waiting.

A creature swept out from the burnt forest. Balthazar swung the sword and the creature vanished in smoke. Balthazar turned, just as another flew past him, almost knocking him off balance. Almost. Balthazar retraced his steps and lashed out as the creature moved towards him again. The creature screamed as it disappeared. Balthazar frowned, a little disturbed. That scream sounded a lot like Castiel too. He shuddered and, while he was distracted, another identical creature appeared to his right, swept across his face and knocked the sword from his hand. His sword spun through the air and smacked into a swamp. Balthazar flashed towards it when another one of the creatures swept down from the sky towards him.

Then the creature vanished. Uriel appeared, and the landscape immediately flattened into the empty field.

Balthazar snarled at Uriel. "Do you mind? I'm trying to train!"

Uriel raised an eyebrow. "Was that what that was? Looked more like torture. What's wrong with you?" Balthazar just hissed. Uriel rolled his eyes and said, "I'm looking for Castiel. Have you seen him?"

Pulling the sword from the grass, Balthazar snarled, "Meditating."

"Something I recommend for you after you're done here. He's at the Pinnacle then? Of course. Well, I shall go there now and see him..."

Balthazar spun round. "Wait! Uh...He's in my secret room. Doesn't want to be disturbed. Like, at all. For a week. He's a little shaken up, you know what I mean?"

Uriel cringed. "What a distasteful place to be. …Though I'm not surprised he's uneasy. After Daniel and Raguel, and with every angel asking for him – you know how many brothers and sisters have approached me asking for him? Bordering on trillions."

Balthazar sighed, "They're keen. Daniel's giving me the silent treatment, but other than that everyone's been after me. I mean, that's not new. The ladies talked to me all the time – but not about Cas!"

Uriel rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm sure you're suffering." He paused. "I should talk to him. The sooner he gets out there, the sooner everyone will stop talking about it. Take me to that room of yours."

Balthazar shook his head. "Best not. We should leave him to it."

"He can't stay away forever. Our superiors haven't dropped this. They'll speak to him eventually, and we need to prepare him for that."

"Look, I _really_ think we should just give him time. Let's go have a duel or something."

Uriel narrowed his eyes. "Castiel is troubled and you want to _duel?_"

"Our garrison wants us in top shape remember?"

Uriel gave him a level look. "He's not in your secret room."

"No, he isn't."

"You don't know where he is."

"No, I don't."

Uriel sighed. "What did you do?"

"Oi, what makes you think I did anything?"

"You talked to him last."

Balthazar folded his arms. "All right. Fine. I may have upset him."

"May have?"

"That's not the issue! We can get together and sing kum-ba-yah later, but...Castiel is missing."

"I _know._" Uriel said. "That's why I was looking for him."

"No, I mean he's _missing."_

"Oh my god. You mean he's back _there._"

"In the best case scenario." Balthazar sighed, "Look we just have to pretend he's still here. We'll be busy with the new garrison anyway. We can just say 'Castiel's still a Fledgling so why would he hang out with us?'"

"Yes, of course, everyone will believe that!" he shook his head, "Even if they did, how do we explain Castiel's disappearance, especially to the superiors – _who will come to us first!"_

"I know!" Balthazar snapped, "But they're not yet, and all we need to do is keep up the act until Castiel gets back."

"What makes you think he's coming back?"

Balthazar paused, needing to swallow a lump in his throat. He glared at Uriel. "Because I told him he couldn't."

* * *

**References:**

"Violence will never get you anywhere." - Classic Who - Sea Devils

Mount Solace and Solitude - Nu-Who - series 3

Hermit under the tree - Classic Who - Time Monster: The Doctor talks about his conversations which an old man under a tree outside where he used to live, and how the old man had always been there.

Walls - Supernatural season 6

Gallifreyan animals: Cobblemouse - basically a mouse, Fledershrew - bat

There isn't much information on Gallifrey out there, but I'll reference whatever I pick up. Mostly, I'm going about this in my head. Like with any culture though, they'll be lot's of similarities, random and strange differences, some things that make more sense and some that make less sense, and a lot of awkwardness for both parties. Hope you enjoy it.


	6. The Opposite of Child's Play

**A.N: **I posted a one-shot from one of the earlier drafts of this story. If you're interested, check it out.

* * *

**Six**

**The Opposite of Child's Play**

"…and that concludes this morning's announcement. Now, may I turn your attention to Borusa." Epsilon, the Head of the House, gestured to a man stood beside her. He was a stranger, dressed in red robes with a golden cap. "He's a tutor at the Academy. He may tutor any one of you in the future, so be sure to listen well to what he says and show your appreciation."

Theta paused from doodling on the breakfast table and glanced up. He giggled. "His clothes are funny."

Koschei, who lounged beside him, bit back a snort.

"Thank you, Epsilon." said Borusa as he took up the podium. "First of all, I would like to congratulate all those who have passed the Initiation. You should be very proud. And, as Epsilon said, as a reward you'll be receiving no lessons for all of today. You certainly deserve the break." he chuckled, "But enjoy it while you can. Your Academic years begin in three months. This should give you plenty of time to get your affairs in order."

"He's acting like we're going to die." Koschei muttered. Someone shushed him.

"Only take what you need. Also, pay close attention to your prep-classes. The staff will be certainly giving you all the advice they can on what to expect when you're at the Academy. As per tradition, your final day here will host a celebration and you'll be able to see your family one last time."

This stirred a lot of noise from the boys. Borusa gave them a moment to expel their excitement.

Theta's hearts leaped. "We'll see mother again!"

Koschei scowled into his breakfast. "Yay…"

"Settle down, all of you!" Borusa said. The boys quickly obeyed. There was a lot of power in that voice. "I'm sure you're all very excited to see your parents, and I'm sure you'll be excited to see other children of your age after so long. Finally, I wish you all a successful Academic year and, on behalf of the Academy, I welcome you."

The boys burst into chatter again, but didn't get much time before Borusa spoke again.

"Now, I'd like to talk to Koschei and Torvic."

Silence. Koschei straightened up. On the opposite side of the room Torvic clenched his fingers around his father's knife. A couple dozen eyes stared at them.

"Don't be shy." Borusa said, "It's about your Initiation."

Theta and Koschei glanced at each other as Koschei stood. Torvic stood a moment later. The rest of the room stared while they made their way to Borusa. He whispered something to them, and all three of them left the room together. The moment the door closed behind them, the room exploded with noise.

Twenty minutes passed before Koschei and Torvic came back. The dinner hall was a lot quieter, as many of the boys had left already to get ready for a day of prep-classes, some even to begin packing for the Academy. Koschei slid back down in the seat in front of Theta. Torvic sat back down with his group of friends.

"What did he say?" Theta asked.

"My Initiation is in three weeks time. I just have to stay out of fights until then."

Theta grinned. "That's great!"

Koschei frowned, glancing at Torvic. He was talking excitedly with his friends.

"I don't think I'll be able to do that."

"I'll help you." Theta squeezed his arm, "Violence never gets you anywhere."

Koschei scoffed.

Theta pursed his lips and looked over at Torvic's group of friends. One of them was looking back at him and smiled when their eyes met. It didn't seem like a unfriendly smile, but Theta pulled a face anyway. "Let's get out of here. We'll sneak under the fence, yeah?"

Koschei grinned up at him. "Yeah."

After dressing, the two of them went outside into the yard. It was wide with a wooden fence running along its edge. It was well kept: the grass was short and there were flower beds in front of the fence. There was a pole in the middle of the yard which people danced around during celebrations. Children were chasing each other, screaming and laughing in the bright morning sun. Koschei and Theta moved pass them, running through flowerbeds. Theta ran his hand along the fence as they passed. About a hundred yards along the fence, was a large bush trimmed into a globe. Behind the bush was a gap in the fence. Koschei and Theta squeezed through, being careful not to let the others see.

They went to the barn and slipped inside.

"Castiel?"

Castiel peeked out from behind a haystack. _"You're back!"_

"We were sleeping. What? Didn't you think we were coming back?"

_"Sleeping?"_ he said, _"Oh. Right. Sleeping. I don't sleep."_

Theta sat on the hay beside him, grinning. "So, what'cha been doing all night?"

_"Meditating."_

"What's meditating?" said Koschei.

_"It's an act of training the mind. Don't you do it?"_

"No."

_"Oh." _he paused. _"That reminds me. I'd like to ask you some questions about your world."_

"Okay. Go on." Theta rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, grinning at Castiel with wonder. Koschei chuckled when he saw this.

_"Well, __I know that our species are very similar, but with some differences. So, may I ask - that is, is it correct to ask - what your ages are?" _He watched Koschei for any signs of amusement. Castiel wasn't keen to repeat the embarrassment yesterday with names, but Koschei just looked...fond.

"We're both eight." Theta said.

"I'm nearly nine!"

_"And is that...young for a Time Lord?"_

Koschei look disappointed. "Well, yeah... Really, once you get past a thousand, no one really talks about it."

"Some people talk in regenerations instead of years. So, we're in our first. We have twelve to go, unless we get more."

_"Regenerations?"_

"Where we get a new body." Koschei said, "I told you before! We get a new body when our old one dies."

_"You live a long time then." _Not nearly as long as an angel, though Castiel didn't say this.

"How old are you then, Cas?"

_"Two hundred."_

Theta blinked. "Is that young for you?"

_"Yes. But it's different for us. Like with your regenerations, angels mostly count age by what we call our 'true forms' which are given out by status. Angels begin as Fledglings, who have the most basic forms, and they train to achieve a new form, whether it be a Seraphim, an Elite, a Cupid, or any other. The only form that isn't granted through training is the Archangel. Archangels are created in that form. They are seen as the oldest, strongest and wisest of us."_

Theta looked enthralled. He was leaning closer. He looked as though he was about to topple over.

Koschei yawned.

Castiel scowled at him. Koschei saw and chuckled, leaning the back of his head into his arms.

"So..." Theta flushed, "What about...babies? If Fledglings are angel babies, then do you..._you know._.."

Koschei started laughing loudly. Castiel cocked his head.

Theta stammered, stringing out a mix of words, some aggressively aimed at Koschei and eventually settled on, "Do you have parents, Castiel?"

_"We don't have parents like you think of them."_ he said, relieved when the boys finally calmed down. Such odd little creatures..._ "Fledglings are raised in a group, by many older angels. That way, we learn from one and then another. Our Father – our Creator – is not much like a parent in your way either. Very few of us even know what He looks like."_

"Sounds like my dad!" Koschei said, laughing again.

This time, Theta laughed too.

Castiel blinked at them.

Koschei jumped to his feet suddenly. "We should do something!" he said, "I mean, look at us! We have an alien –"

Castiel twitched. _"Can you not call me that?"_

"- and we're just sitting here in the barn!"

"How about we show you some places?" Theta said to Castiel, "If I was ever lucky enough to get to another world, I'd want to see as much of it as possible!"

_"I still have questions."_

"Ask us on the way." Koschei said dismissively, unbolting the barn door and charging out.

Castiel glanced at Theta. _"Is he alright?"_

"Rough morning, I guess." Theta said with a shrug.

So they left the barn and wandered up the hill to the silver forest where the three of them first met, and where Castiel and Koschei met the second time. It was a cooler day than before and Castiel noticed the clouds were reddish-pink with streaks of yellow - and, in the distance, where the sky met the land, it had turned slightly blue. Was that because of the temperature? The weather? The time of day? Or even, the time of year? He asked Theta, but he didn't know. There were some things the boys were too young to understand. Whatever the case, it was beautiful: the blue fell behind the silver trees, making the forest look as if it was made from glass.

Koschei proposed they go to the Wild Endeavour - a place just beyond the forest, he said. They didn't get far however.

"Oh, shit, hide!" hissed Koschei, diving behind a tree. Theta did the same. "Castiel! Hide!"

Castiel copied, stepping behind his own tree, but peeking out to see what was happening.

In the forest clearing where Koschei and Castiel met, there were several other Time Lords. Castiel watched them carefully. They were taller - they must have been fully grown - and wore different robes than the boys. While the boys wore identical black robes, the adults were more brightly coloured. Some wore emerald, others scarlet, some heliotrope. The robes were shaped the same. They were long, reaching to the ankles, and some wore caps and large headresses that opened up behind their heads like a fan.

Something hit Castiel on his temple. He looked over. Koschei had thrown a seed at him and was motioning for them to go back. Castiel nodded.

"They must be looking for you." Koschei said, when they felt they were a safe distance away. "No one is allowed on Gallifrey without clearance from the Gallifreyan Space Traffic Control, you know."

"_I don't have clearance."_

"I figured."

"We'll go another way." said Theta, "If they don't find anything soon, they'll probably leave and not bother. Pompous asses."

Koschei snorted.

Castiel stared at Theta. _"You…You don't seem to like other Time Lords. Either of you."_

Koschei shrugged nonchalantly.

Theta looked at his feet.

"If we sneak behind the Provision House," said Koschei, "and over the hill, we'll get to where we want to go."

They did just that. The two suns where high and bright. It was quiet. Not even the wind made a sound. The hills were empty. By seeing those Time Lords in the forest, Castiel suddenly realised how empty Gallifrey was. He asked Theta about this, who explained that most Time Lords lived in the Citadel, which was sealed off from the rest of Gallifrey. The idea seemed ridiculous. Hopefully, Castiel would see it some day for himself.

Eventually, the three of them came back to the forest, on the opposite side. There was the small lake Castiel had crash-landed beside, and the spurt of weeds and flowers were his Grace had touched. They kept walking until they found themselves beside a boulder, near a stumpy cliff that dipped into a river.

"This place is called Wild Endeavour. We used to play here all the time." Theta told him. "The Citadel is ahead, but its pretty far away. Still, we should keep a look out for aircraft or for those Time Lords in case they come through here after they've finished looking for you."

_"You really think they're looking for me?"_

"Well, they may not know it's you, but I think so. Don't worry. They won't look for long. Trust me. They're pompous. If they don't find anything interesting, they won't waste their time on it and they'll go back to the Citadel to sit in chairs and talk rubbish."

_"The Citadel."_ Castiel repeated, _"Koschei told me about it. It's where you used to live, isn't it? Why don't you live there now?"_

"They take us out when they want to train us for our Initiation. When we're eight. I don't really understand why. I think maybe because it's quieter out here?" he paused, "My mama used to say it's to help us meet new people from the village, but I don't see why they have to take us away from our parents."

"My dad said its to mix us with peasants!" Koschei said, spitting "He said it's a trial – that we have to put up with people lesser than us to prove our greater worth in the Academy."

Theta frowned. "See, I don't understand that." He said, "If we're greater, then why do the…you know, 'peasants' or whatever go to the Academy too? When I did the Initiation, it seemed like everyone got an equal chance. Kids from the Citadel passed, and kids from the villages passed."

Koschei humphed. "Well, I don't know."

"Me neither. I hate that. Most kids just accept it. 'Who cares if they take us away? Its sad, but its just what happens. Our parents did it and our kids will do it too. Who cares if the Initiation makes no sense? The grown ups get it and they get a lot of stuff we don't, lets just play a game or something.' Not me. I don't like that. We should be questioning this stuff, if its so important, right? We should know everything we can. Question everything."

_"This…Initiation, it's a test?"_

Theta nodded, scowling.

_"And the other day, you said you passed."_

Suddenly, Theta blushed a furious red. He turned sharply away. "Yeah, well, don't ask me how!" he snapped, "I don't want to talk about it okay?"

Castiel blinked, taken aback. _"…my apologises. I was just wondering what you did for it."_

"Dangerous stuff!" Koschei said, excitedly. "Isn't that right, Theta? Oh. Oh! Did anyone go crazy? People say that some kids go _insane _it's so dangerous! Did anyone go crazy, Theta? I hope Torvic went crazy! That'd be funny!"

Theta frowned at the ground.

"Hey, Theta. Look at me. I'm Torvic and I'm mad. Hubluhahahahu!"

"Stop being dumb." Theta snapped. "Torvic didn't go mad. Even if he did, it wouldn't be funny. Okay?"

Koschei frowned. "Okay. Sorry. What's gotten you so touchy about the Initation? At least you got to do yours!"

_"Who is this Torvic?"_

Theta went red. "He's, um..."

"A monster." Koschei said quickly. Theta glared at him. Koschei flashed him a grin.

_"A monster?"_

"Yeah! He's...like, ten feet tall - No ten hundred feet tall! - but he doesn't bother us at all."

_"Interesting."_

Koschei nodded. "I had to spend the whole day with him yesterday."

Theta rolled his eyes, "Are you still talking about that? Let it go."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Sensing a fight, Castiel grabbed both boys by the shoulder, making them look at him. _"I have an idea."_ he said, _"We all have telepathic abilities. How about we test the differences between us?"_

Theta beamed. "Like a science experiment! That's a great idea." He looked at Koschei. "Koschei likes hypnosis, don't you?"

Koschei looked at Theta, and Castiel recognised the flicker of understanding that passed between them. Koschei smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I do."

Castiel felt a rush of relief. _"Well, let's get started." _he said quickly. _"I'm already partially projecting inside your heads. I will push harder."_

"We should sit down." Theta said, "I heard a story where someone pushed his telepathy so far he collapsed."

Castiel flinched. _"Maybe we shouldn't."_

"Oh come on!"

_"You don't understand. You Creations, you're delicate. My very presence in this form should harm you."_

"You keep saying 'Creations.'" Koschei said, narrowing his eyes, "What does it mean?"

Castiel stiffened, his eyes darting between the two boys. _"Nothing. It's...I just don't want to hurt you."_

"You won't know if you don't try." Theta said.

_"Alright. Just tell me if I hurt you."_

They all closed their eyes. Castiel saw their minds in the dark - two orbs of light, much like an angel's mind, but...the feel was different, the energy. It was more open to change. As Castiel brushed it, it fluttered. An angels energy was stiller. An angel was already perfect. These minds were imperfect and Castiel was drawn to their imperfections, like he was the stars he watched from the Pinnacle.

Castiel moved closer. No one said stop. Surely, this was enough? Hadn't he always been taught the Creations were sensitive to Grace? That's why angels needed vessels after all.

Theta's mind was bright with intelligence and curiosity. In Koschei's mind, he felt the boy's determination. Castiel pushed more. The orb that was Koschei's mind rippled and pushed towards him. Castiel jumped and yanked away completely.

He was back in the field, blinking. He stood. The boys stood too. Theta was saying something, but Castiel couldn't understand without the telepathic link. Castiel just shook his head, staring at Koschei. Koschei looked impassively back. Theta touched Castiel's arm and kept talking.

Eventually, Castiel calmed himself down and inched back into the boys minds again.

"...please tell us what happened? Are you okay?"

_"I'm fine." _he projected. _"My apologises."_

"What happened?"

_"I was startled, so I left your mind completely."_

Koschei set his jaw. "What startled you?"

Castiel looked at him. _"You both have telepathic abilities that I didn't expect but...Koschei. Yours were powerful. You moved towards my mind with ease. With time, you could possess any mind you wish. I never thought Creatio- that anything other than an angel could develop that much control."_

"Then let's do it again!" Koschei said, "Theta you try too!"

Theta shook his head. "I don't even know what you did!"

"It was easy. Let's do it again and I'll show you."

"Koschei, stop."

"What?"

"Can't you see Castiel is shaken up?"

_"It's not that. I'm just surprised. I...underestimated your species greatly." _If Koschei, a child, could have an ability that matched an angels, what could the rest of them do? Castiel was amazed, he was terrified, he was confused, all at once! Everything heaven taught him, everything that had once been so important to him, had shrunk compared to this. What did it mean?

Koschei looked at him. "You okay?"

_"Y-yes."_

"Are you sure?"

Castiel nodded.

Koschei frowned at the grass. He didn't look angry - just pensive.

Theta looked between them. None of them said a word, but silence did not follow. Something growled on the wind, husky like a panting beast. Theta glanced up to the sky and spotted an incoming aircraft, a bronze shield, coming to pick up the Time Lords investigating the forest. He glanced at Castiel, at Koschei; both of them were so deep inside their heads they hadn't noticed. If the Time Lords had found nothing, or even if they found something it didn't matter, if they came through here and saw Castiel, who knows how they'd react? Theta ran to Castiel and Castiel blinked, turning to him, just before...

"Sorry, Cas." Theta said and pushed Castiel - straight off the bank and into the river.

Koschei charged forwards. "What did you just do?"

"They're coming." Theta pointed at the ship in the air.

Koschei smirked. "First one to find Castiel gets to treat the other like his slave for the week."

"You're on."

They charged alongside the river. They scrambled over rocks and grass, watching the river the whole time. They could see Castiel's light, swirling like a vortex as the river pushed and pushed and pushed him all the way down, eventually depositing him on a sandy bank at the bottom of the hill. Castiel spluttered - but it was with shock rather than breathlessness. Theta and Koschei scrambled to get to him and pull him to his feet.

"Are you alright?"

Castiel glared. _"I'm. Wet. Through."_

Theta smiled. "At least you didn't get caught."

"And its a good look on you." added Koschei.

Castiel opened his wings and sprayed them with water.

* * *

The next day, Theta met up with Koschei after his second prep-class. Even though he'd done his Initiation, the classes didn't stop – they became stricter. Every day it was 'sit right, eat right, walk like this, talk like that.' Koschei had been taken out of classes since his detention. Theta was almost jealous. Almost.

"Hey, are you okay?" Theta said and he walked beside Koschei to the dinner hall. Koschei was staring at the wall as they walked, away from Theta.

"I won't be able to go out today. Ra'an wants me to talk to some 'expert' about anger. I don't know what he's talking about. I'm not angry!"

Theta smiled ruefully. "Is there no way you can miss it?"

"No. Ra'an said if I don't go, he'll post-pone my Initiation until next year. _Next year! _And you know what? He would actually do it! He's complete slime, that one."

Theta nodded in agreement.

As they sat down at their table in the dinner hall, Koschei winked at Theta, "So tell our little secret that I'll see him tomorrow, if I can, okay? Don't do anything too fun without me."

"Sure."

"What are you two losers talking about?" at the voice, the boys glanced up. Torvic stood over their table, arms folded, chin title upwards in a look of smugness. "You shouldn't keep secrets."

"Why are you here, Torvic?" Theta said, "The no-fights rule applies to you too. Do you want to go to the Academy or not?"

"You're the reason I'm in this mess, cobblemouse." Torvic spat, "You hadn't run off, your friend and me wouldn't have gotten caught."

"You started that fight." Koschei hissed, clenching his fists on the table edge.

"Actually, _you_ started that fight so this is both of y'all's fault."

Koschei stood. "What are you going to do about it?"

Theta grabbed Koschei's arm, "Kos. Remember the Initiation."

Torvic opened his mouth to speak when another voice interrupted.

"Tor."

Another boy came up to the table. He was blond, with green eyes and freckles. Theta recognised him. His name was Zetar. He was part of Torvic's gang and was Torvic's best friend.

"What?" Torvic snapped at him.

Zetar put a hand on Torvic's shoulder. "Come on. Ahkar told me to come get you. 'Sides, we have more important stuff to do than talk to these two."

Torvic grunted, pushing Zetar's hand off his shoulder and marching away. Zetar, casting a hesitant glance over his shoulder, followed.

Koschei slumped back down in his seat. "The sooner we get to the Academy, the better."

"I hope so."

"I should probably go too." Koschei sighed, "I'll see you later." Koschei squeezed Theta's arm, and Theta waved him goodbye.

At dinner, instead of eating with the other boys, Theta stuffed a handful of food in his pockets and went into the yard to sneak under the fence again. It was a dark, cool afternoon, with a cloudy sky. A thunderstorm would be rolling in soon. Theta thought about Castiel, alone in the barn, and couldn't help but feel guilty. Not only was he far from home, alone for hours on end, he'd be caught in the storm and Theta knew better than anyone that the old barn was no place to be when it was raining. He'd spent many nights awake because of the noise and the icy raindrops falling onto him through the holes in the roof. If he wasn't too proud to march back into the House, he wouldn't have stayed there. Besides, walking in all sodden would have only prompted more torment from Torvic and the other boys.

He wondered if he could sneak out some extra bed sheets to cover the hayloft window, to keep the rain out. He'd never been able to reach the rafters to hang it up, but with Castiel around it would be easy!

He was halfway across the field to the barn when a voice behind him shouted, "Hey, cobblemouse!"

Gasping, Theta spun round. "T-Torvic? B-bu…I thought you was with Akhar."

"I was. Then I wasn't." said Torvic, shrugging as he came closer, "I saw you wandering off under the fence. Very sneaky. How long have you been doing that? Ages, I'll bet."

"You shouldn't be out here."

"You self-righteous scum! Don't talk to me about rules when _you're_ breaking them."

Theta inched away. "Look, just leave me alone. You'll get in trouble. It's _your_ Initiation on the line, not mine."

Torvic scoffed. "About that. How the hell did _you_ pass the Initiation?"

Theta shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I don't know how they judge it. No one does. That's the point."

"Oh shut up! You think you're so much better than me don't you?"

"N-no. I don't. Look, just…just go away, okay? I want to be on my own."

"Why should I? What are you hiding out here?" He looked behind him, at the barn, and back again. He grinned. "You're hiding something in the barn, aren't you? That's why you always go out here."

Theta's hearts began to pound fast. "No!" he said, "That's stupid!"

Torvic's grin only widened at the other boy's fear, his own enjoyment increasing with every moment. "Oh is that right?"

"Right. Just leave me alone. I asked you nicely."

"I don't care."

Suddenly he shot forwards, shoving Theta hard in the chest so he fell on the ground. Theta grunted, wincing as pain shuddered through him. He twisted round. Torvic was heading toward the barn. Forgetting his fear, Theta sprang up and chased after him. "There's nothing in there, Torvic!"

"Then why are you panicking?"

"I'm not! There's nothing there!"

Torvic started running backwards so he could pull faces at Theta and laugh as the boy pleaded with him to stop. He didn't notice the glow of Castiel's Grace from under the barn door. Theta did. And there was no escape. No other way out of the barn – except for the window, but Castiel couldn't fly away without Torvic seeing.

"I'm going to tell everyone!" Torvic taunted, "Whatever it is, everyone's gonna know! That'll teach you for lying." Torvic turned and reached for the bolt on the barn door. He slid it open.

Theta pounced on his back. He wrapped his arms around his neck.

"Hey!" Torvic tumbled away from the barn. He tried to push him off. "Get off me, you freak!"

As he struggled to hang on, Theta stuck his fingers in Torvic's mouth and neck. Torvic gagged and fell back, crushing Theta under his body weight. Both boys cried out. Torvic rolled over, pinning Theta to the ground.

"Is that how you want to play it?"

Theta glanced at the barn door. It had opened just a crack. Castiel was peeking through the gap. Theta screamed at him. "NO!" Castiel flinched but otherwise didn't move.

"No, huh?" scoffed Torvic. "You really are pathetic."

Theta struggled and managed to get one of his arms free. He hit Torvic on the chin. It was a clumsy, weak move, and Torvic laughed. Torvic punched Theta in the nose. A dull stinging pain shocked Theta's face and blood ran into his mouth. His nose felt swollen. He whimpered.

Torvic punched him in the stomach. Theta curled in on himself, sobbing. Torvic stumbled to his feet, panting, and after watching Theta curl and sob, he kicked him in the stomach until Theta threw up. Theta spluttered.

"That'll teach you." Torvic said.

Theta's vision was blurry and his body was aching all over. Darkness pricked the corners of his vision, clouding over until he closed his eyes.

Torvic stared at the boy lying in front of him, panting. He'd forgotten all about the barn, about what was supposedly inside it, and instead just stared at the body in front of him, bruised and bloody, with a pile of vomit next to the head. Torvic screwed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Not my fault." he whispered, "Not my fault." Then, in a swell of terror, he glanced left and right and was relieved to see no one was around. He turned and ran back the way he came before someone found him.

Castiel rushed from the barn to Theta's side. Theta was awake again. Just barely.

"_Oh, Theta."_

Theta moaned, rolling his head back. The telepathy made his head ache. He drifted away again.

Castiel held Theta's head in his arm and carried him carefully into the barn. He lay him down on the hay and looked him over. His nose was bleeding and appeared broken and his stomach was bruised black. He swallowed. The Time Lord's healing ability was much slower than he thought._ Maybe I could…_

He'd never healed another being before, but he tried anyway. Closing his eyes, he lay his hand on Theta's forehead and directed his energy towards him. There was some resistance. The Time Lord energy fought against him, but after some coaxing, it accepted his help and his Grace sank into Theta's flesh and healed his nose, his brain, before flushing down to his stomach to heal everything there, inside and out.

Theta opened his eyes.

Castiel pulled back, feeling dizzy. Certainly, he needed more practise. Not that he would ever want to it to be under such circumstances again. _"Are you alright?"_

Theta nodded. "You healed me?"

"_Yes." _He furrowed his brow. _"Who was that boy? Why did he do that?"_

"That's Torvic."

_"That's Torvic? But...He's a boy, like you. He's nothing. Koschei said..." _

"Forget about what Koschei said!" Theta yelled.

Castiel stared at him, stunned.

Theta blinked. His face went pale and then bright red. He scowled, wrapped his arms around himself like a shield because _oh - _Castiel felt immediately guilty - how much _less humiliating_ would it be if Torvic was a monster? Not just a boy, not - how had he put it? - 'nothing'? Castiel thought about Daniel and how much he would like to pretend that that was a noble fight, a fight against more than just another angel, who Castiel should be equal to, so at least the failed _attempt _was noble enough.

Oh.

Castiel looked at Theta. _"I'm sorry."_

"...what are you saying sorry for?"

_"...Because he hurt you."_

Theta peeked at him through the corner of his eye. "Don't feel bad. He would have found you otherwise."

_"That's twice now." _Castiel shuddered. _"I asked you to keep me secret but I didn't mean for you to get hurt over it."_

"Don'eave."

_"Pardon?"_

"You want to leave because of this. Please don't. I won't let anyone that close again."

_"That's not it. I just don't want you_ hurt." Castiel shook his head and sighed._ "What am I doing? I didn't think about you at all. I just...arrived and didn't tell you anything and now you're getting hurt trying to keep my secrets."_

"I would have gotten hurt even if you hadn't come."

Castiel bristled. "_Torvic__ hurt you before now?"_

Theta pushed at the hay. "Yeah. I actually feel better about it now though. Its worth it when you get hurt for a good reason. Not to mention you healed me. I've never healed that fast." he looked at his hands. "I bet that's what regeneration is like."

Castiel looked at him closely. _"You have a lot of honour in your heart."_

"Hearts." Theta corrected. Then he shrugged. "And I don't think so. Honour is like...hero stuff. People who run around saving people. That sort of thing. And I...I..." he spluttered, "I do math!"

Castiel chortled.

"and I read, and I'm small and not muscly, and I just got beaten up!"

_"That's not what honour is."_

"Well, whatever it is, I'm not it. I'm not brave or anything." Theta turned away in embarrassment. "What are we talking about this for anyway? Koschei would laugh if he heard all of this."

_"I think you're brave."_

"La, la, la! Not listening!"

_"I_ do." Castiel insisted, grinning._ "One day, you'll know it. Even if I have to convince you myself."_

"Now you sound like Taluma."

"_Well then Taluma is a wise...er..."_

"Woman! She's a lady."

_"Taluma is a wise womanlady." _

Theta snorted. Castiel laughed.

It took a few silent moments for Theta's embarrassment to fade away. Castiel was still smiling from his teasing but his smile slowly disappeared as he watched the solemn look stiffen Theta's youthful features. Theta pushed himself up straight and looked Castiel in the eye.

"Koschei can't know about this." he said. "He'll want revenge - he's always looking for an excuse to fight - and if he and Torvic fight one more time, he won't be able to go to the Academy. Promise you won't tell him, Castiel."

_"You've protected my secret. I'll do anything to repay that." _Castiel put a gentle hand on Theta's shoulder. _"Koschei will never know about this."_

* * *

**References:**

"His clothes are funny" is a reference to how the Doctor in the Classic series didn't like Time Lord fashion.

_"Violence will never get you anywhere." - _The Doctor to the Master (Classic Who: Sea Devils)

"Imaging what I'll be without him and him without me." is kind of a reference to the _End of Time _episode where the Doctor says to the Master "I wonder what I would be, without you."

Ten thousand year old body - Classic Who: Tomb of the Cybermen

Borusa – he was a recurring character in the Classic series, starting off as a tutor to the young Doctor and Master.

Zetar – a renegade Time Lord mentioned in the prose _Shada._

**And here's an odd one, but it's still a reference:** Castiel's explanation about parents is taken from the movie K-PAX, one of my favourite movies, which I actually got the idea for this story from. For those who have seen it, this story is based on what we hear about the relationship between Prot and Robert Porter. But don't worry - watching that film won't spoil the plot of this story. ;)


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